Prepare to Never Sleep Again: Starbucks Gives Us the Trenta, Goliath of Coffees

It’s nearing the afternoon — is the rush of caffeine you sucked out of your daily Starbucks Venti already wearing

It’s nearing the afternoon — is the rush of caffeine you sucked out of your daily Starbucks Venti already wearing off? Perhaps 24 ounces of coffee just isn’t enough anymore.

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This, apparently, is why Starbucks announced today that starting in May the “Trenta” sized cup will be available. It will be 31 ounces of America’s ubiquitous burnt-tasting coffee, ready for your consumption.

And what will this leviathan of java dispensers set you back? Oh, just 50 cents more than the Venti. A lot of coffee, or a gratuitous amount of coffee for two quarters more? The choice here is clear.

What we are looking forward to most, however, is the exasperated look on the barista’s face whenever a customer asks for “extra large” and has to be corrected with “Trenta.” It’s an appropriately faux-European name in line with all the others, and jaded coffee fiends will mock it accordingly.

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nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

Prepare to Never Sleep Again: Starbucks Gives Us the Trenta, Goliath of Coffees