Pyrotechnics, Acrobatics of the Royal Wedding to be Shown in Eye-Popping 3D

When Prince William finally popped the question to his longtime squeeze Kate Middleton, there was one thing the world was looking at: the ring that once belonged to Diana. It was a big, sparkly, gold-wrapped sapphire studded unsubtly with diamonds, a blinding blue ocean surrounded by sunshine and placed on the soft terrain of Waity Katie’s dainty hand.

But what if you could have seen the rock not just in plain old 2D, but rather explosive-looking monster 3-D? Think about it — that extra dimension will project the affluence and history of the royal court in way previous antiquated technology simply couldn’t. What if this is the way we actually watch the wedding of the century?

Well stop dreaming, kids — Rupert Murdoch is going to turn this monumental vision of matrimonial bombast into an totally in-your-face extravaganza. Bloomberg is reporting that Rupert Murdoch is bringing weddings to the next dimension.

British Sky Broadcasting Group Plc, controlled by Rupert Murdoch, is negotiating with royal officials to show the wedding on television. The talks, which involve the British Broadcasting Corp., also include shooting the event in 3-D and transmitting it to cinemas, two people familiar with the matter said. Test shots have been taken inside the church and a broadcast rights announcement may come in weeks, one of them said, declining to be identified because the talks are private.

The broadcasting group claims precedent as justification for the 3-D treatment, even if the examples are a bit different from a wedding.

Movie theaters have benefited from the explosion of 3-D screenings — and their higher ticket prices — and by showing live events such as the Metropolitan Opera, the soccer World Cup and concerts by the Black Eyed Peas and U2.

Blockbuster films “Avatar,” “Tron: Legacy” and “Toy Story 3” prompted cinemas to outfit screens with digital equipment, which also lets them stream live content.

OK, so the wedding probably won’t have virtual reality motorcycle races or epic human-alien environmental robot warfare on distant planets, but if The Great Gatsby can be in 3-D, why not the merger of Wills and his pretty pretty princess? I mean, how else will those kept off the super-tight guest list — like President Obama, most of the universe, and ourselves — actually feel like they’re in Westminster Abbey?

We’ve got our glasses at the ready.

nfreeman at |@nfreeman1234

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Pyrotechnics, Acrobatics of the Royal Wedding to be Shown in Eye-Popping 3D