Recasting Parker-Spitzer… Phonetically [UPDATED]

UPDATE: Eliot Spitzer will have his own show, called “In the Arena,” with rotating guests and in the same timeslot. reports The Cutline.

Kathleen Parker is leaving her post as co-host of CNN’s Parker Spitzer, reports The Daily. Can’t say we didn’t see it coming, but The Daily has some additional details of interest. Parker had been hand-picked by former CNN President Jon Klein, who left the network a month before it launched. Apparently the new regime is unsympathetic.

The question is: How does CNN find an anchor who can stand up to ‘The Steamroller’ and whose last name, critically, ends in “-er.” There are actually plenty of options! We’ve ranked them below, accounting for fiestiness of character and catchiness of name.

10. (Tiki) Barber Spitzer

9. (Anderson) Cooper Spitzer

8. (Diane) Sawyer Spitzer

7. (Al) Roker Spitzer

6. (Anne) Coulter Spitzer

5. (Jim) Cramer Spitzer

4. (Brian) Lehrer* Spitzer

3. (Chelsea) Handler Spitzer

2. (Dan) Rather Spitzer

1. (Wolf) BLITZER SPITZER :: @kstoeffel

*Eye rhyme!

Recasting Parker-Spitzer… Phonetically [UPDATED]