In the Basement of the Shorty Awards

Betabeat and other representatives of the tech and media twiterati gathered last night in the basement of the New York Times building to “watch” the Livestream of the third annual Shorty Awards being held above our heads.

It’s not hard to imagine a future in which the Shorty Awards, which honor excellence in tweeting, carry the same gravitas as a literary honor or the MTV Music Awards (the Shortys also slighted Kanye West, whose tweets are like random acts of art).

But we’re not there yet. Most recipients at last night’s ceremony were at least a little self-deprecating. “You’re not far from being a punchline,” one afterparty attendee explained to Betabeat. “So some of that is appropriate.” The “best nurse on Twitter” category sponsored by Showtime, she felt, was one that was ripe for mockery.

The crew of Montreal-based bros behind the @EpicMealTime Twitter account–32,000+ followers, winner of the food category, tagline: “And then we add bacon strips”–had it right then, gonzo-ing their way through an acceptance speech before dropping their Shorty Award in the viewing room in the basement. “LOL!! I broke my @ShortyAwards with my barehands!! BAHAHAHAHA!!!” They were drunk. And probably stoned. “We broke our Shorty Award,” one of them shouted, holding the two pieces aloft. “So we’re going to leave now. If you want a motherfucking interview, I’ll be outside giving motherfucking interviews.” Betabeat looked for the boys outside, but they must have already gotten into the limo!

But it’s good that the Shorty Awards exist, because otherwise how would we have honored Newark mayor Cory Booker for his heroism during the snowpocalypse, or astronaut Douglas Wheelock for tweeting a photo from space? Or Sesame Street, which tweets OHs from muppets? Or the perfect drivel of @omgidothis too?

Some coverage of the actual event. Full line-up of winners is here and video from the event is here.

In the Basement of the Shorty Awards