Fake Lawsuits! Royal Snubs! It Was a Drama-Filled Week at the Grill

Last week was contentious, but the week before was a week of beauty. Publicist Susan Magrino came in for lunch with Richard Gere’s lovely wife, Cary Lowell. Then at the same time Cecilia Attias (French President Nicholas Sarkozy’s ex-wife) was dining nearby with the most beautiful woman. She was stunning! Cary Lowell and Susan Magrino beckoned me over to ask me who she was, but I didn’t know, so I told them she was the real Mrs. Bond. I was kidding, but of course, Carey Lowell was a Bond girl in License to Kill, so she piped in, “Which one? I was Bond girl number 8!”

We had quite the legal showdown in the Pool Room last Thursday, as Page Six reported earlier this week. The Grill was booked, so Michael Ovitz, who came with the new Goldman Sachs bigwig, Gary Cohn, was very angry that I had to seat him in the Pool Room. He said, “Let’s go somewhere else.” So then Mr. Ovitz had his lawyer, I. Really Cheatham, draw up a complaint alleging that Mr. Ovitz suffered “significant physical, emotional and financial injury,” due to his seating arrangement. At first I thought it was real, because he was so angry, but then I showed the letter to my wife and she said, “That’s not a real law firm! That’s from the Three Stooges!” So, relieved, I reciprocated with a letter from my lawyer, Pinkie Plushbottom.

Then one of Donald Drapkin’s guests was being very rude, and I told him to please behave himself, and so he got in my face and told me, “You don’t fuck with me, do you know who I am?” I told him I didn’t care who he was, and at the end of the meal he came over and apologized.

It’s the end of an era, the prince has stopped dining with us. We didn’t have his table ready twice in one week, so he walked out and said he’s not coming back.

But in losing an Arab prince, we gained an Israeli politician! President Shimon Peres came for lunch last week. It was quite the ordeal; we had to seat him upstairs on the balcony because he needed total privacy. His security took over the whole restaurant and they bugged the place! Can you imagine? It was very intense.

We also had our annual Cigar Aficionado party, which raised money for prostate cancer. People were smoking cigars everywhere! It’s the one day of the year that people can smoke inside the restaurant. We get a permit from the city annually since we have a special ventilation system to dispel the smoke. It’s all very scientific.

Then last Monday was a balmy spring day, which brought out all the heavy hitters: the Rudin family, Steve Rattner, Sandy Weill and Leonard Lauder with a man from Mexico (don’t get excited, it wasn’t Carlos Slim).

Lally Weymouth also came by for lunch recently wearing a black leather jacket, and she looked hot! I’ve never seen her look so good. And you know why she’s wearing black leather, don’t you? It’s because she moved downtown, so she’s very hip now. Like me!

editorial@observer.com Fake Lawsuits! Royal Snubs! It Was a Drama-Filled Week at the Grill