Help Wanted! The Cover Letter Assistant Tackles Artsicle

As a regular service to our readers, Betabeat selects an especially appealing tech job posting and pens a sample cover

Will work for money.

As a regular service to our readers, Betabeat selects an especially appealing tech job posting and pens a sample cover letter. Just insert your name, append a resumé and say hello to your future!


Want to help develop a brand without any BS corporate rules? Social media maven/ninja with vision? With us you can…

  1. Own, manage, & write for Artsicle’s “collecting art” blog
  2. Start conversations with customers on Twitter, Facebook, and anywhere else you think we should be (Perk: having read @GaryVee‘s Thank You Economy)
  3. Maintain a fun, authentic voice for yourself & the Artsicle brand
  4. Bring your vision for our social strategy & work with the dev team to make it happen
  5. Get your hands dirty in event planning, schwag creating, and other real life stuff


[Today’s date]

Dear Artsicle,

First of all, I get it! Art + popsicle = Artsicle. Art you can suck on! No one wants sucky art, but they do want suckable art. It’s a brilliant idea. After all, art is nothing if not a visceral experience, right? I’ve always enjoyed Jackson Pollock’s work, for instance, but wondered why I couldn’t put my mouth on it. Now it seems like it might finally be possible, thanks to the magic of the internet. Artsicle, you’ve created the answer to a question I never thought to ask: Is there a website where I can rent art and lick it in the privacy of my own home? Turns out yes.

To be sure, my previous experience in New York area startups should come in handy here. When I worked for, we helped our audience understand that free delivery of pornography, twin lobster tails and hot chocolate chip cookies (in under an hour) was not just a privilege, but a right in the New Economy. By the same token, Artsicle’s audience need no longer suffer the tyranny of art that can’t be returned or shipped off to the next foster family like a disobedient orphan. After all, who among us hasn’t suffered buyer’s remorse after quaffing a few too many white zins and shelling out for a Banksy only to find that you’ve bought a Mr. Brainwash? Hands high, now. I see you, Courtney Love!

The reality of our world today is that no commodity is truly valuable unless it can be rented and returned at will. This is as true of art as it is of cars, movies, tuxedos and bowling shoes. I don’t know about you, but my life is full of so much STUFF that I can barely move sometimes, let alone find the time to gnaw upon some of my favorite objets d’art. The wired set knows that ownership is overrated. To that end, I firmly believe Artsicle will change how people consume art in the same way Craiglist changed the way we view prostitution: Find a piece you like on the web, invite it over, then leave some money on the table when you’re done with it.

Finally, I’ll direct you to my popular personal blog, “Outsider Art” (and its accompanying Twitter feed), a collection of gallery reviews filed from outside of the gallery after misreading their hours of operation and being denied entrance. Years of working in social media has taught me that building a business around your passion on the internet usually leads to direct monetization, a philosophy shared by the legendary Gary Vaynerchuk, who also taught me that if wine is your passion, you can treat Twitter like one long, glorious drunken voicemail.

That’s all for me, Artsicle. If you’re looking for a forward-thinking social media maven slash third-degree black belt ninja who “gets it” and wants to help create shared experiences around art on the web, your search is over. I see my future, and it’s hanging on the wall, 30 days at a time.

Yours Sincerely,
[Your Name Here]

Help Wanted! The Cover Letter Assistant Tackles Artsicle