It’s Raining on Men: Balls Deep at the Conference on Male Studies

But what White Men! This dread demographic used to at least charm with rhetorical constancy: All we want is true

But what White Men! This dread demographic used to at least charm with rhetorical constancy: All we want is true color- and genital-blindness, a Western Civ that everyone can be proud of. No more. Allan Bloom, and William Buckley and David Horowitz would take the objective advance made by girls as yet more reason to abolish Women’s Centers and Women’s Studies programs from higher education.

The Male Studiers take it as reason to create Men’s Centers that agitate for special privileges for men, because that’s what they think—in 2011!—”gender” or “queer” studies does for ladies.

Men, Mr. Gilbert said, will obviously still dominate in “action fields”—”science, technology, the gaming industry and what’s left of muscle work”—but the encroachment of women in what we might, crudely, call “women’s work” (magazines, teaching, the humanities professoriate) threatens to demolish the whole evolutionary foundation of the species, which is “the eternal pair-bond bargain.”

Put in other words, even if women are simply more capable at everything, they must accede to a sort of affirmative action for men lest the latter lash out for wont of things to do. “We know what happens,” Mr. Garcia warned wanly, “when men have no hope—they turn to violence.” (Women, you’ll remember, already get to menstruate.) 

When a break was called, the degradations to the gender only continued. A sign informed that there were “ladies lounges” on the second, third, fourth and fifth floors, but just one men’s room, on the ground level. Given the composition of the crowd, and the size of everyone’s prostates, and the wideness of several stances, this made for very intimate waits at the urinals.

Back upstairs, foundation director Edward M. Stephens was reciting a plea straight to the webcast camera. “Today, as I stand before you, I would like to ask for the first million dollars. … A million dollars would simply give us the tools to expand what we’ve done here [in] the direction of the creation of the body of scholarship necessary to reverse … the international epidemic of the decline of men.”

A grant from the Lily Endowment is already funding pilot Men’s Centers on 14 college campuses-including, most notably and aggressively, at Wagner College on Staten Island.

After the bathroom break, the panel’s only woman, Marianne Legato of Columbia Medical School, presented the only original empirical natural science of the day, about why men die so much earlier than women. Hers was also the only presentation that did not suffer a PowerPoint mishap.

It’s Raining on Men: Balls Deep at the Conference on Male Studies