June 14, 2011: Republicans Hold Presidential Debate in Blatant Attempt to Grab National
Attention Back from Weiner Affair
Manchester, New Hampshire (CNN): Last night, in a crude and blatant attempt to grab national headlines away from Rep. Anthony Weiner, the “Republican Party” (founded by anti-slavery expansion activists in 1854; currently having the second most registered voters with 55 million) held a “debate” between their announced “candidates” for “President of the United States”.
This was full well knowing that Barack Obama is the “President of the United States”, and that polls show that “America” is still concerned with the “penis photos” of the future ex-Brooklyn Congressman.
“Why would they do this? Full well knowing that the nation is still fully focused onthe Weiner matter? Talking about ‘issues’, ‘concerns’, and ‘what really matters’,” said a Phyllis Sorbinsky, a retired teacher woman from Alstead. “Just what were they thinking? What if children were watching?”
The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) announced that they were fully prepared to deploy emergency assistance to the Manchester, New Hampshire area, and that disaster pyschothrapists were ready if needed.
In other news, Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus could not be reached for comment. However his office released a comment, “No comment until the time limit is up,” and that “another debate would be held only when the national crisis concerning the Weiner penis issue was finally over, and life for people had ‘returned to normal’.”