Rumors of Blake-Leo Breakup Greatly Exaggerated

How dare you think Leo dumped me!

Word got out early this week that Leonardo DiCaprio had dumped his girlfriend, teen soap star Blake Lively. Sad face! This meant that Leo would just dip the brim of his baseball cap down even lower when he goes out, his hands shoved even deeper into his pockets, his scowl just that much more pronounced.

Let us assuage your fears. The Scoop has news today that Mr. DiCaprio has not, in fact, dropped Ms. Lively like she’s hot (though she is, in fact, hot). The original item had the dish that after meeting Mama DiCaprio, Irmelin, in Italy, she advised her son to look for someone else, someone who didn’t just blabber on about Karl Lagerfeld all day long. Gatsby needs a Daisy, not a Serena.

Lies, lies, goddamn lies.

“A source who knows the couple assures Scoop that everything is fine, and our era of Leo and Blake has not come to any abrupt end,” the item read.

Thank God! Crisis averted! Now we can all happily enjoy a weekend with the knowledge that love can exist in this world.

Rumors of Blake-Leo Breakup Greatly Exaggerated