Welcome to Gawker Media, Your Desk Neighbor Hates You and Will Blog About It

Today’s apparently a big day at Gawker Media! In addition to the beginning of the tenure of new sales VP Andrew Gorenstein—sent to Gawker by way of Conde Nast—it is also the first day former Slate columnist (and Observer media reporter) Tom Scocca begins at Deadspin (officially, now that his co-workers hate him)! We know this because his bullpen neighbor—sister-site Jezebel’s Tracie Egan Morrissey—blogged about what an awful person he is to sit next to.

Ms. Morrissey (née “Slut Machine“) took to her Tumblr on July 6th to describe the agony of sitting next to Mr. Scocca:

I don’t know the name of the Deadspin writer that sits next to me now, but in my head I call him Personal Space Invader. Do you see that silver line all the way to the left next to his keyboard? That’s where my desk is supposed to start. Do you see all those papers and that clutter jammed behind my monitor? Not mine. When he’s operating his mouse his arm is so far up my junk that he could shake hands with my unborn child.

Gawker hasn’t been that unsanitary since back when everyone used to work from home! Either way, today, Choire Sicha of The Awl (where Mr. Scocca’s writing has appeared) then chimed in to help introduce the two:

Since people are apparently unable to speak to each other in this day and age, Tracie, meet Tom Scocca, who works in the Gawker office five days a week. Looks like the Gawker office ethos tends more toward “let’s write a belittling Tumblr post as a welcome to a new coworker,” instead of saying, I dunno, anything? In other news, you two have a lot in common! You may be the first to exercise Gawker Media’s maternity leave; he may be the first to exercise its paternity leave. (Does that really exist or is that just a joke I tell myself?) LOTS TO TALK ABOUT. Or not, because after that, who’d want to really.

That said, if Ms. Morrissey is shy, she certainly found one of the more effective ways to get to know your co-workers; this could in fact be the new icebreaking standard. Unless Mr. Scocca and Ms. Morrissey have met formally by now. In which case, it’s the new ice-making standard. And a chilly one at that.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek
Welcome to Gawker Media, Your Desk Neighbor Hates You and Will Blog About It