Who Now for Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s Tribeca Townhouse?

No, no, come in. You're safe here.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is free at last.  The Frenchman can take a breath of hot, humid New York air after a judge released him from house arrest this morning. But perhaps on a scorcher like today he would prefer to stay indoors. Still, now that DSK can leave the lily pad, we wondered who might want to sublease the Tribeca townhouse he’s been under arrest in since May?

He or she would have to be wealthy. DSK is reportedly paying $50,000 per month for the 6,804-square-foot house at 153 Franklin Street.

The subtenant would be the sort to see beyond a book’s cover. The townhouse has a Napoleon (Sarkozy?) complex. Although it is a short, squat little home, the luxurious interior overcompensates for its stature petit.

He or she would enjoy movies and a good sweat. The ground floor has a gym, spa steam bath, full bar and leather-seated home theater. We can just imagine DSK sitting dolefully in front of the massive screen now, revisiting Truffaut and Goddard with a heavy heart. The first floor has a guest room with a separate maid’s entrance.

He or she might be as aggressively kinky as a middle-aged member of the French elite (if this scandal has taught us anything!). The townhouse’s haute modern staircase is enclosed in glass. The steps are individual planks of wood attached to a beam, meaning that someone walking downstairs could see right up the skirt of someone ascending the flight above.

Finally, the subtenant might dig Vitamin D. From the top-floor terrace DSK can sun himself in perfect privacy and barbeque some boeuf on a natural gas grill.

So, with amenities rivaling Versailles, qu’en dites-vous?

Who Now for Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s Tribeca Townhouse?