August 20, 2011: Congressman Scott Garrett (NJ-5) Leads New Jersey Trade Delegation to CandyLand; Governor Cheats on New Jersey with Another State

August 20, 2011: Congressman Scott Garrett (NJ-5) Leads New Jersey Trade Delegation to CandyLand

Congressman Scott Garrett of New Jersey’s 5th Congressional District led a trade delegation to CandyLand in order to increase the possibilities of exchange of goods with the small island nation. “Their population is in great need of medical supplies from all their tummy aches. New Jersey’s pharmaceutical can meet that need,” recognized Garrett. He negotiated a trade deal himself, with their big yellow president.

Garrett, who is in his fifth term in Congress, will be the New Jersey’s official representative to the island nation of CandyLand and head of the U.S. delegation, said his spokesman, Jeffrey Fitzpatrick. 

“What they say about the CandyLand president is very true. He does melt in your mouth, not in your hands,” added the NJ 5th Congressman. 

In another news shocker, Christie Plans to Cheat on New Jersey With An Affair With Another State

In a scandal reminiscent of another New Jersey governor not too long ago, this columnist has discovered that Governor Christie “plans to cheat on the New Jersey with another state”. The state the governor is reported to have an affair with is a “southern state, most likely Mississippi this time.” The governor plans to be present for an affair with Mississippi at an event honoring Governor Haley Barbour at the end of the month.

The governor did have a brief fling with Florida last winter, but did survive that indiscretion, despite severe public criticism.

“When he became governor, Christie took an oath to New Jersey. ‘I do solemnly swear that I will support New Jersey, and that I will faithfully discharge the duties of Governor according to the best of my ability’, he told New Jersey. What are we to think now?”, a high State Street source shared.

The governor through spokesman Michael Drewniack acknowledged his transgression, and said in a statement, “Any wonder why we are in such big trouble?  Any question why the people don’t trust their government anymore and demanded change in November?”.  

August 20, 2011: Congressman Scott Garrett (NJ-5) Leads New Jersey Trade Delegation to CandyLand; Governor Cheats on New Jersey with Another State