Wednesday, August 10
Whatever Floats Your Boat
As the midsummer torpor continues (our hair is frizzing, the sidewalk is crowded, our subway rides are interminable—and, yes, we’re stuck in the city!), what could be better than a nautical outing? We can’t make it to the Hamptons, so—how about at the least a gondola ride in Central Park? (Try to ignore thoughts of friends lounging yacht-side of St. Tropez…) The New York Junior Tennis League hosts its annual “Summer Gala with the Stars” tonight. And in addition to a little spin around the pond (Dramamine not provided), the night is full of exotic entertainment including caricatures, tarot cards and… wait for it… magicians! (Reminds us of our nephew’s birthday party.) What more could you possibly ask for? The Junior League is raffling off a weekend for two at the Ritz in Cancún (actual boating, here we come). So head over, and have the caricaturist render your best/worst glistening summer self. We’ve already asked him to sharpen his tan crayon and to do to our frizzy humidity-hair what no amount of conditioner could.
The Boathouse, Central Park, 6:30 p.m. For ticket information contact Pam Glick at (347) 417-8146. More event info at http://www.nyjtl.org/events/8/10/2011/summer-gala-with-the-stars.html.
Thursday, August 11
The Grassy Role
Have you ever been in Bryant Park enjoying a nice summer salad (all right—a Chipotle with a cupcake chaser. Gotta make the days pass somehow!) and thought to yourself, “What would really jazz this up is some singing drag queens?” (Are we alone in this? Anyone?) Well, now is your time: treat yourself to an extended lunch break today (the boss won’t really mind—call it a summer Thursday!) and see “Broadway in the Park.” For the final week, the big guns are coming out, with hits from Mamma Mia!, Mary Poppins, Avenue Q (puppets at midday!) and Priscilla Queen of the Desert (the aforementioned drag queens). The Broadway casts will perform their most popular numbers, belting out sixty minutes of singing, dancing and high-kicking (just thinking about it is getting us overheated.) So come, find a seat on the lawn (hopefully the competition will be less cutthroat than when Fashion Week used to be here! We have scars, honey), and enjoy the show.
Bryant Park Lawn, West 40th Street and Sixth Avenue, 12:30-1:30 p.m.; free event.
Friday, August 12
It’s Friday in August, so you’re heading out East. (And the sky is blue, and grass is green, and Bradley Cooper is dreamier than Ryan Reynolds—these are just facts, people.) Drop in at the Guild Hall Summer Gala in celebration of the Richard Prince exhibition. The event will honor the tawny queen of the arts and crafts world, Martha Stewart, and will be hosted by none other than Alec Baldwin. (Don’t ask him to do Jack Donaghy—he’s on hiatus.) If that lineup doesn’t have you packing your weekend bag, know that the party will be D.J.’d by Alexandra Richards, progeny of the coolest senior citizen on earth, Keef. (“Play ‘Tumbling Dice’!”) No trips to Cancún on offer here—this is a more cerebral fund-raiser. The gala’s live auction features art from Barbara Kruger, William Wegman, Bryan Hunt, Andres Serrano, Eric Fishl and Clifford Ross. (What, no flower arrangements by Martha? She’s our favorite postmodernist!)
Guild Hall, 158 Main Street (East Hampton). Preview of Richard Prince exhibition, 6-7 p.m.; cocktails begin at 7 p.m. at the Gardinier Estate; dinner at 8 p.m. Call Guild Hall for tickets and info: (631) 324-0806.
Saturday, August 13
All gala-ed out? Nonsense, there can be no such state! The Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons (ARF, get it? This is complex stuff) will be hosting its summer Beach Ball (is Louis C.K. writing their stuff?) on Saturday honoring Dr. Lewis Berman, founder of the Park East Animal Hospital. (P.E.A.H., but we don’t think that one’s deliberate.) If your labradoodle has ever gotten into your stash of truffled bon-bons while on vacation in the Hamptons, Dr. Berman is likely to thank for saving your beloved designer pet. All proceeds from the evening benefit ARF and the homeless quadruped population of East Hampton (we can think of worse places to be homeless, Fido). If you’re not seeing double after the scheduled cocktails and heathen beach bonfire, matching D.J. duo AndrewAndrew (Is it 2004 2004?) will spin a set for the event. And guess what? There’s going to be a magician (is this a trend?)!
Bridgehampton Tennis and Surf Club,
231 Mid Ocean Drive. Cocktails, 6:30 p.m., dinner 8 p.m. For tickets, contact email@example.com or call 631-537-0400, ext. 216.
Sunday, August 14
Happy 150th anniversary of the Civil War! Governors island is celebrating the anniversary with festivities all weekend. You can learn how to wield a bayonet rebel-style and watch a historically accurate baseball game played by the Governors Island Rangers (Word is they beat the Mets in a preseason scrimmage, breeches and all.) If you’re really lucky you may be invited to play in the game, but Let Ye Be Warned, they didn’t wear gloves or batting helmets back in the good old days. The valiant rangers of Governors Island will show what garrison life was like back in the 1860s. In previous years the event has included reenacted recruitment rallies, surgeon’s inspections (um, no thanks), and drill routines for the military buffs. (Why is “buff” most commonly used with “Civil War”?)
Governors Island, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Call (212) 825-3045 or visit http://www.nps.gov/gois/index.htm for more information.
Monday, August 15
After a full weekend of gala going with the Hamptons hordes, you might be feeling that your wardrobe’s wearing a little thin lately. Lucky for you, Today show personality/sportscaster belle Jill Martin and stylist Dana Ravich are hosting a party for the launch of their book, I Have Nothing to Wear: A Painless 12-Step Program to Declutter Your Life So You Never Have to Say This Again! (How does one get rid of things, and then end up with more to wear? More magic!) Toast to the fashionistas and their new oeuvre, which will surely come in handy as you begin thinking about your fall wardrobe upgrade.
SL Club, 409 West 14th Street; private event.
Tuesday, August 16
Tonight the crew of the greatest cult comedy reunites, and you absolutely must attend. The Dude and the rest of the Big Lebowski crew are getting together in honor of the film’s special edition Blu-ray release, not to mention the much-anticipated release of Jeff Bridges’ self-titled album. Mr. Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi and Julianne Moore will all attend, and there will be a question-and-answer session (What did Maude end up naming the Little Lebowski?) Afterward, there will be a screening of the movie (putting our Lebowski-watching number somewhere in the mid-four figures). Also, we’re holding out hope that Mr. Bridges will serenade the audience Crazy Heart-style.
Hammerstein Ballroom, 311 West 34th Street; for tickets, visit http://www.lebowskifest.com/.
Wednesday, August 17
Dye Another Day
It’s been a busy (and hot) week, and you’ve been glistening quite a bit. You deserve some pampering. The Riccardo Maggiore Salon is hosting an evening of beauty, drinking and networking at its mammoth Lexington Avenue space. Remember that scene in which the devastated S.J.P. dies her hair brown in the first Sex and the City movie after Big calls off the wedding? That artful transformation was the work of Mr. Maggiore himself, and now you can have the opportunity to sit in one of his hallowed salon chairs free of charge. But don’t have too many cocktails before your beauty consultation, or you may end up accidentally overdonating to Locks of Love, the group that provides wigs to children who have lost their hair due to illness. One very lucky guest will win a full $1,000 makeover. And don’t worry—the only magicians here will be Riccardo Maggiore’s team of highly trained beauty specialists.
Riccardo Maggiore Salon, 136 East 57th Street, 3rd Floor, 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to RSVP.