This Hurricane Weekend, Drink Underwater At Flooded Zone-A Bars!

You can do this Sunday night at a west side bar!

Earlier today, Mayor Michael Bloomberg issued a mandatory evacuation of Zone A, the places close enough to the river to potentially experience massive flooding when the hurricane hits. Among the stricken land is the stretch of the west side from Houston Street up to Chelsea. There are a lot of bars there! But, with the massive and horrifying Hurricane Irene on the way, surely they will be closed, right?

Not so! We called a few boites in or very close to Zone A, and many will pour the drinks well into the End Times. Dive bars,  indeed!

The Jane Hotel is located steps away from the Hudson River — will it turn away those who show up to the doors on life rafts après le déluge?

“Yes, we are staying open,” a representative for the Jane told The Observer. “As of now, it’s open to the public from five on as scheduled.”

The Jane Hotel too hip for your tastes? Well, you can still stop by Ear Inn, purportedly the oldest bar in the city. Might as well go now — it’s probably going to get washed away!

“So far we’re staying open,” a waitress told us. “We did order a bunch of sandbags.”

Sandbags! We’ll see you there Sunday night, then.

Craving a porter and some bangers and mash as your city becomes the next Atlantis? Brass Money is your place. Hurricane be damned, the Meatpacking bar will keep the kegs flowing.

“Absolutely, we’re staying open,” a bartender told The Observer. “It’s just gonna be some rain.”

Well that’s good, a little rain. Cool this city down maybe. But what if, say, it’s not a little rain. What if it’s a hurricane.

“We have a lot of good pumps,” the Brass Monkey barkeep said.

Hope everything goes well for you guys, then.

With all these bars staying open, we might as well go all out. Why settle for a bar near the river when you could go to a bar on the river? When the hurricane hits we’re heading to the Frying Pan.

Or not.

“We’re on the water so no, we won’t be open!” said a Frying Pan employee. “Would you go down there? It’d be dangerous!”

At least one saloon proprietor in this town has any sense. And if you do, too, you’ll be following our plan for the weekend: bottle of bourbon, in our apartment. This Hurricane Weekend, Drink Underwater At Flooded Zone-A Bars!