This is a guest post from Gary Sharma (aka “The Guy with the Red Tie”), Founder of GarysGuide, Mentor at ER Accelerator and proud owner of a whole bunch of black suits, white shirts and, at last count, over forty red ties. You can reach him at gary [at] garysguide.org.
The tech powers-that-be reached out to me over the weekend with a desperate plea: “Gary, as u know two of our blowhards superstars were unceremoniously booted regretfully let go last week. Now we love these kids, but God knows what kind of crazy mischief they’ll get into if we don’t find them a new gig, pronto. Can you help?” So I put on my red tie, summoned my super powers and went searching for some answers.
The Boutique VC Firm
If you thought Andreeseen-Horowitz was the gold standard in Silicon Valley, wait till ya get a load of Arrington-Bartz. With Bartz’s take-no-prisoners approach and Arrington’s friendships cemented at Bin 38, dealflow should be a cinch. And I believe A12Z.com is available.
The Buddy Movie
Think an R-rated version of Jackie Chan + Chris Tucker but with way more colorful language and just a hint of romance. If that’s not a sleeper hit franchise in the making, I don’t know what is. You’re welcome, unimaginative overpaid Hollywood studio execs.
The Crime Fighting Super Duo
Worth it just to see all the prancing around the valley in tights and capes. Bartz’s trademark one-liner? “I’ll dropkick you to (bleeping) Mars.”
The Swap
It’s a no-brainer! Arrington takes over the reins at Yahoo while Bartz assumes blogging duties at TechCrunch. It’ll be like nothing ever changed. Bonus: Bartz and Arianna face off in a boardroom cat fight! But thats a story for another day.
And finally… the 2012 Presidential Candidate Team
If there was one takeaway from their infamous fireside chat at Techcrunch Disrupt NYC last year, it was that these kids would kill it in a presidential debate. F-bombs, anyone?
And now, onto this week’s tech-a-licious events…
Rocking out on the Terrace 3
Back, by popular demand, for one last hurrah this summer, the only party where you rawk it on a terrace. It’s an all you can drink affair. So go get hammered! Just don’t fall over into the Hudson, cuz that wouldn’t be very pretty. And FYI to all those folks who thought that this was my terrace: it’s not. But feel free to treat it like it is. 😉
Monday, 6 p.m. @ Private Residence Terrace, 312 11th Avenue
Fashion 2.0: Evolution of Online Flash Sales
If u’re crazy about fashion & tech, you’ll like this. And if u’re not, well there will be cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, so u’ll like it anyway. Panelists includes Mike Steib (CEO, Vente-privee.com), Ted Nadeau (General Manager, ELLE Digital), Vicki Young (WWD Women’s Wear Daily) and Andy Dunn (Co-Founder, Bonobos). Moderated by the always lovely Yuli Ziv (Style Coalition).
Monday, 6 p.m. @ Gansevoort Park, 420 Park Avenue South
Founders@Fail: Ted Morgan (Skyhook Wireless)
Cuz there ain’t no such thing as an overnite success, homie.
Monday, 7 p.m. @ General Assembly, 902 Broadway 4th Floor
Design for 3D Printing with Shapeways
Okay, so maybe you can’t 3D print a double espresso ultra grande soy mocha chai latte yet, but mark my words, it won’t be long!
Tuesday, 6:30 p.m. @ Union Square Ventures, 915 Broadway 19th Floor
TechStars NYC on Bloomberg TV Premiere Party
The confessions. The drama. The showboating. The apps. The tears. The mentors. The late-night coding. The drinking. The pivoting. It all begins this Tuesday. The show that will launch f-bomb dropping Dave Tisch & his TechStars cohorts into the Donald Trump / Apprentice stratosphere.
Tuesday, 7 p.m. @ Undisclosed Location
Inside the Lean Founders Studio with San Kim (Show Me) and Fred Wilson (Union Square Ventures)
Speaking of lean, here’s a couple of lines from a speech I may be giving at a paper company later this month … “Lean is right. Lean works. Lean clarifies, cuts through, and captures, the essence of the startup’s spirit. Lean, for lack of a better word, is good.”
Tuesday, 7 p.m. @ Meetup HQ, 632 Broadway 3rd Floor
The Business of Big Data
If there is one venture firm that has Big Data tattooed on its forehead, it would have to be IA Ventures. Srsly, these folks know more about Big Data than my grandma knows about baking cookies. So do urself a favor and head on over to learn some useful insights from IA’s Brad Gillespie and Ben Sisovick.
Wednesday, 6 p.m. @ General Assembly, 902 Broadway 4th Floor
Teaching Yourself to Code for N00bs and Product People
New York Tech Meetup frontman, OHours founder and all-around tech rockstar Nate “innonate” Westheimer will morph you from the somewhat desperate “I’m looking for a tech co-founder” all the way to the empowered “Good Lord, I AM a tech co-founder!” This one is for all you “idea guys” and “business gals” out there. Get on it. Best decision you’ll ever make.
Wednesday, 7 p.m. @ SkillShare HQ, 407 Broome Street 5th Floor
PaidContent Advertising Summit
An online advertising all-star speaker cast including Paul Caine (EVP, Time), David Carey (President, Hearst), Pete Cashmore (Founder, Mashable), Carolyn Everson (VP, Facebook), Colin Kinsella (President, Digitas), Scott Kurnit (Founder, AdKeeper), Ross Levinsohn (EVP, Yahoo), Mike McCue (CEO, Flipboard), Neal Mohan (VP, Google) and more.
Thursday, 9 a.m. @ Time Life Building, 1271 Avenue of the Americas
New Work City Third Anniversary Party
Whoa, time flies! The grandaddy of New York co-working spaces is turning three. So go party like the co-working rockstar you are with New Work City Mayor Tony Bacigalupo, Deputy Mayor Peter Chislett and the rest of the NWC gang.
Friday, 8 p.m. @ New Work City, 412 Broadway 2nd Floor
Foursquare Global Hackathon!
Okay, so here’s what you do. Take a bunch of foursquare APIs, add a generous helping of iOS with a pinch of gamification and mix it all up in a blender. You, my friend, have just whipped up a spanking new super delicioso So-Lo-Mo app. Now go tweet about it and annoy ur followers.
Saturday, 10 a.m. @ General Assembly, 902 Broadway 4th Floor
Maker Faire and Open Hardware Summit
THE event for all ye DIY aficionados out there. Bit of a hike to Flushing but think of it this way–you’ll finally be able unlock that “far far away” badge, no?
Saturday, 10 a.m. @ NY Hall of Science, 47-01 111th Street, Queens
More on the horizon …
Mashable Social Good Summit on Sep 19 @ 92 Street Y
TechCocktails NYC Mixer on Sep 21 @ General Assembly
Pitch Your Startup To CNN Money on Sep 22 @ Time Life Building
Smash Summit NYC on Sep 23 @ Microsoft
Until next week. Stay thirsty social, my friends!
