Moby's Dicks

Let Moby direct your sex life.

Hey, he didn’t name his LES beverage shop Teany for nothing:  hipster vegan and technically active musician recently spoke to Bizarre magazine about his next entrepreneurial endeavor: pornography. Of course. Why not.

“I’ve never understood why porn made for men often stars studly guys with enormous, you know? Surely that’s intimidating to most guys watching? My porn flick would exclusively feature men with normal-to-titchy-sized penises in order to make viewers feel better.”

It makes sense that Moby would want to make porn the least intimidating for men as humanely possible, since absolutely nobody in the world is intimidated by Moby. He is the world’s least aggressive human being, but at least he knows his niche. He uses words like “titchy-sized,” which we hope to God is not a reference to a micro-penis. And hey, maybe what the world needs are more porn films featuring nice-looking women engaged in mediocre love-making sessions with average-sized phalli. Moby's Dicks