Google vs. Groupon: The Daily Deals War Heats Up

Groupon is only days away from its big November 3rd IPO debut! Naturally, they are making crazy moves, as is Google, who wants to squash them and their stupid Groupon Cat into one of our planet’s inner-cores.

Last night, news broke that Groupon’s giving the world a 10% off discount…on their sales force! The catch? The world has to replace said 10% with more Groupon foot soldiers. Via Reuters:

Daily deals site Groupon is replacing the worst 10 percent of its sales staff as it pushes to win stronger deals from merchants and ensure it can keep growing, the company’s chief executive told potential IPO investors on Wednesday. Andrew Mason told investors who had gathered in Boston that the action was designed to improve the quality of the deals being offered. Groupon currently has a salesforce of over 4,800, according to its IPO prospectus.

Do you know upwards of 480 people who can help sell local merchants on a product of an oversaturated market whose yield has been likened to a ponzi scheme-like facesmashing of small businesses? Well, we’ve got just the job for you!

Speaking of discounts on facesmashings, Google’s got one for its competition, be they Groupon or Groupon’s Groupie Imitators, as Google Offers announced their own daily deals overhaul today:

Google Offers business will distribute daily deals from at least 15 other daily deal sites, including Gilt City, kgbdeals, TIPPR, Plum District and Juice in the City. Google Offers subscribers in the San Francisco Bay Area will get the new deals first, but the company plans to roll out the bigger inventory of deals to new cities in coming months.

Spit-take: Gilt City is a huge get for Google. Also, it will be fun to watch Google attempt to punish a company for not taking $6B of their money. 5PM Jewelery and Beadmaking Class in Brooklyn? $20. Watching two epic companies bloody each other over who can shill more coupons? Priceless. Google vs. Groupon: The Daily Deals War Heats Up