Video: How To Get Nobody To Take Your Startup (or Diversity In Tech) Seriously, Ever

Not quite, but basically, yes.

Thank you, Matt Langer, for directing us towards one of the most sadistic treatments—”bastardization” is unfair to bastards, here—of the entire genre of rap music, ever, delivered at the hands of a startup rapping about how they’d like some VC money.

And yes, of course they’re white.

I know, with lyrics like “I’m gonna make this business grow/All I need is that seed round dough,” it’s hard to resist. But here’s a startup idea: It’s called Trepanatr. You install it as a Chrome plugin, and on your iPhone and/or Android device as an app. And every time you watch this video, via the very finest in location-based technology, someone will find you and personally trepan—hence the name, of course—the side of your head.

Want to know how TechCrunch treated this? Of course you do! Not-Michael-Arrington Erick Schoenfeld, show us your discerning and harsh critical eye for what this speaks to for startup culture:

Before you completely dismiss Undrip, Hagen was involved as a co-founder of Zinch, a college admissions matching service, which was sold to Chegg. And at least they are tackling a real problem. Filtering the realtime Twitter stream is something nobody has yet cracked in a satisfying way. If their product is half as slick as their video, it might do okay.

Hm. What we were looking for was something along the lines of “not only is this a great reason to dismiss young people as patently unserious, but while we’re at it, this continues to serve as great evidence of just how patently white, male, and socially invalid the Valley and Alley actually are.”

Maybe we’ll just try Arrington instead:

“There’s a guy, actually, his last company just launched at our event, and he’s African-American. When he asked to launch — actually, I think it was the other way around. I think I begged him,” Arrington told CNN’s Soledad O’Brien.

Um. Okay, one more time. Arrington, give us something good:

there’s negative bias in SV. VCs are dying to invest in women & minorities just so they do

Nope! Cutting you off. Because you will continue to provide evidence that this is the only industry where a bunch of guys making a shitty rap video that totally patronizes predominately black music in a predominately facile and stupid way as they beg for money could actually be taken seriously. Which, after this, they no doubt will.

Video: How To Get Nobody To Take Your Startup (or Diversity In Tech) Seriously, Ever