Future Headlines Regarding Last Night’s Grammy Attendees

Rihanna (Getty Images)

March 2012: “Chris Brown Meets With Nelson Mandela, Who Thanks Him for Service to Mankind”

April 2012: “Nicki Minaj To Record Note-for-Note Cover of ‘Like a Prayer’ Featuring Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne”

August 2012: “Rihanna Releases Seventh Album”

September 2012: “Lady Gaga To Release Album of Standards Sung A Capella, No Longer Wear High Heels, in Bid for Grammy Recognition”

November 2012: “Chris Brown Considered a Frontrunner for Nobel Peace Prize”

December 2012: “Adele’s Four Grammy Acceptance Speeches Nominated for a Total of Twelve Grammys”

February 2013: “Taylor Swift Performs Song Striking Back at 2012 Grammy Critics At the Grammys”

March 2013: “Rihanna Releases Eighth Album”

April 2013: “Rihanna Releases Ninth Album”

June 2013: “Taylor Swift Spotted Feasting on the Heart of Her 2013 Grammy Critics”

July 2013: “Music Industry Scientists Freeze Springsteen’s Brain: ‘We Froze McCartney Two Years Ago But He Keeps Trying to Sing,’ They Say”

August 2013: “Music Industry Scientists Develop Drug To Allow Americans To Forget Chris Brown’s Violent and Misogynist Tendencies: ‘What a Dancer!’ Says America”

September 2013: “Somewhere In Wisconsin, Bon Iver Finally Finishes Ambivalent Grammy Speech” Future Headlines Regarding Last Night’s Grammy Attendees