The Subway Diet! No Eating, More Walking

When it comes to rats and eating on the subway, which side of the tracks are you on?

Senator Bill Perkins has introduced a bill in Albany that would ban eating on trains and platforms. One of its most surprising opponents is new MTA chairman Joe Lohota, or the “rat czar,” as he was known when he served as deputy mayor in the Giuliani administration.

While the correlation between subway eating and rat prevalence seems pretty obvious, Mr. Lohota does not support the ban, despite his past efforts to eradicate the pesky vermin, according to The Times.

Why the change of heart?

“It severely hurts and impacts minority communities. I don’t want to deny the kid the only time that day he’s going to get food,” Mr. Lohota told The Times.

Let’s be serious.  With the recent cuts made to the number of car cleaners, the MTA isn’t really looking to make the subways any cleaner. (Plus, rats are a city staple, right?)  Conspiracy theorists, listen up:  This is an effort to combat America’s obesity epidemic!

Look no further than the MTA’s FasTrack maintenance program, which plans on closing tracks for another 59 days, from 10pm to 5am, in order to more quickly repair the rails.

MTA’s senior vice president of subways, Carmen Bianco, apologizes to commuters with some helpful advice. “Hopefully, our customers will only have to walk a block, or two blocks at the most, to get alternate service,” she told the Daily News.

Soon enough we will all be hearing about the newest and hottest diet craze of 2012:  the Subway Rider’s Diet.  It’s secret?  Diet and exercise! The Subway Diet! No Eating, More Walking