Incredibly Unprofessional Engineering Cover Letter Is Actually the Best

You like my cover letter, bro? (via

Business Insider got an oddball tip this afternoon, in the form of a cover letter for an engineering job in New York City. A firm called Open Source Staffing posted a job listing for a contract-t0-hire API engineer and, according to BI’s source, OSS got the this little gem in return.

Dear Open Source Staffing & NYC PHP Meetup Group:

I’m super awesome and have incredible experience compared to this – it
includes the required experience below plus I am trained in MMA
fighting, am the mayor of multiple Chipotles, Starbucks, and locally
famous restaurants in downtown NYC, and I type really fast. You want
to hire me more than anything and you’ll be disgusted at how fast and
responsive your API is when I’m done.

You’ll have to pay me ridiculous amounts of money but after the job is
done you’ll wish you paid me more to stick around because you’ll know
whatever company hires me next will destroy yours. It will be worth
it, you’ll feel like I just got ripped off every time you write me a
check. Each week you’ll feel worse and worse and increase the amount
of money you are paying me until one day you realize there’s no amount
of money that could add up to the value of my insanely awesome skills.
It’s ok, it happens to everyone.

You’re welcome,

Apparently all that brogramming braggadocio offended Business Insider’s delicate sensibilities. “We sincerely hope [it] was an attempt at humor – and not an attempt to get a job,” writes deputy editor Nicholas Carlson.

Funny, we think it’s tonally spot on for a startups who like it when you call them “awesome, awesome” and think that “Are you ready for some Javascript, motherfuckers?!!” is an acceptable way to begin your product demo. As long there’s some skill set to go along with that ego, we approve. Who wants to read a bunch of  would-be ninja/rockstar coders droning on about their attention to detail? Incredibly Unprofessional Engineering Cover Letter Is Actually the Best