The Hidden Gems Inside Tumblr’s Terms of Service Agreement

Looks like Tumblr's lawyers had a lot of fun drawing up this document.

A screenshot from Tumblr's Terms of Service. (beccamp.tumblr.com)



It’s a well-known fact that even though we click “Agree” to tons of online “Terms of Service” agreements, we rarely ever read them. But Tumblr user beccap decided to give Tumblr’s new terms a read, and found some delightfully funny one-liners embedded within the legal muck.

The “Community Guidelines” portion of Tumblr’s Terms of Service reads, “Please don’t use Tumblr’s Upload Video Feature to host sexually explicit videos. We’re not in the business of profiting from adult-oriented videos and hosting this stuff is fucking expensive.” Fair enough. The helpful Tumblrites even go far enough as to provide a servicey little link to where you can host that stuff. “You can use services like XHamster to host those instead,” it continues.

Other gems include:

  • “Don’t post private photos of your ex’s junk (no matter how attractive).”
  • “If you’re younger than 13, don’t use Tumblr. Ask your parents for an Xbox or try books.”
  • “If you want to ridicule or parody a public figure (and who doesn’t?) don’t try to trick readers into think you are actually that public figure.”

Check out some more screenshots by beccap below.





UPDATE:

The original poster of the screenshots was beccap, not bsinthecity as previously written. We’ve fixed the above article and links to reflect this change.

The Hidden Gems Inside Tumblr’s Terms of Service Agreement