Groupon’s Kidz Club Has Us Hiding Under Our Covers

What Groupon's child-centered marketing would look like if Groupon did child-centered marketing.

How cool is e-male? (

Apparently the one demographic daily deals giant Groupon felt it was sorely lacking was children, because kids possess so much purchasing power and all. Do you know how much kids are netting in allowance these days? Like, $20 a week at least. So Groupon decided to create a “Kidz Club” for these middle school high rollers, complete with a questionable cast of characters. The whole thing is so absurd that it’s pretty obvious that Groupon is in on the joke.

On the Groupon blog, they explained the club thusly: “At Groupon, we love kids. In fact, we love them so much that we wanted to give them a cool ‘zone’ on the ‘Net where they can hang out with brand new ‘cyber-frenz’!” We sense that someone’s tongue is firmly planted in-cheek.

“Not only is there a designated zone for young minds, but parents can also peruse deals they think will best suit their offspring,” continues the post. The Kidz Club is part of Groupon’s kid-friendly deal offerings, and includes options to play games like “Brain Scramble” and listen to the theme song, which–with lyrics like “Glasses needs glasses to see!”– has to be a joke, right?

The characters that comprise the Kidz Club are no less bizarre. They include “E-Male,” whose “rich stepdad buys him all the newest technology. He loves Groupon and some other sites. This cool kid is going viral in 2012.”

Apparently you have to be super rad to get into the Groupon Kidz Club. The club was so exclusive that they couldn’t even find another person to add to the team, so they “downloaded some plans from the net and the Club made their newest member, Pyles, out of whatever stuff they could find. Pyles loves rainwater and hates stray dogs.”

Wait, what?

Obviously the Groupon team decided that the best way to get kids and their parents to buy stuff was to throw together some nonsensical tech jargon with weird cartoons and call it a day. The gimmick apparently worked, because it definitely made us want to buy a Groupon for Claires (but can you spend it on getting your ears pierced by a high school drop out with cystic acne??).

Groupon’s Kidz Club Has Us Hiding Under Our Covers