How Many of You are Total Klouchebags?

Quit abusing the English language, people.

Mr. Scott. (

Earlier this week, the Internet was alarmed and disheartened to learn that a piddling Klout score can now cost you a job. (At least in certain segments of the marketing business, anyway.) But it’s no secret that the service favors a tendency to self-promotion, and therefore driving up that number often has an invisible social cost. Digital jokester Tom Scott has now quantified that cost with Klouchebag, the self-proclaimed “standard for asshattery.” Finally, the index Twitter has needed all along. 

The single-serve landing page is straightforward, explaining that, “Klouchebag measures how much of an asshat you are on Twitter.” To learn whether you’ve been abusing the microblogging service, simply pop over and input your username. Metrics for terribleness include anger, retweet abuse, social apps, and English misuse. Not particularly scientific, but sounds about right–although Betabeat would argue that “look at this nice thing someone said about me” RTs should weigh extra heavily, if they don’t already. Self-promoter extraordinaire and sex tape starlet Kim Kardashian earns a 75, “Quite Horrible,” guilty on all charges but anger. Investor and Butterfly Effect headliner Ashton Kutcher escapes with a 45, “Mostly Noise,” for abuse of both retweets and English.

Oh, and creator Tom Scott’s score? 100, or “Prat of the year.” Someone isn’t happy with the amount of time he wastes on Twitter. How Many of You are Total Klouchebags?