With ICANN set to reveal new top-level domains any moment now, the number of available Internet addresses is about to balloon. Various organizations around the world have applied to register more than 1,900. A fair number of those are brands staking claim to their own names, like Google staking out .youtube. But companies like Donuts have applied to administer generic names like .bank and .baby, meaning businesses and individuals can soon register for the digital equivalent of vanity license plates. It’s going to get messy and it’s going to get confusing, fast.
However, there are several specific top-level domain purchases we recommend:
1. LILWAYNE.MONEY
As the ringleader of Young Money, Lil Wayne obviously needs LilWayne.money. While he’s at it, he should register similar sites for each of his Cash Money Records label mates. Quick, before another crew beats you to it.
2. GMAIL.DOWN
Single-serve sites for every popular Internet service answering the question, “Is X Down?” at .down. Let’s start with Gmail.
3. ALANMOORE.WIZARD
Watchmen auteur and comics legend Alan Moore should create a personal website on .wizard. We would also accept AlanMoore.occult and AlanMooreHates.Hollywood.
4. PIRATEBAY.HOLLYWOOD
Speaking of the movie business, the Pirate Bay needs a new home at .Hollywood, wouldn’t you say? Ditto every torrent site in existence.
5. PATENT.TROLL
Operation Name and Shame begins now.
6. GOP.SEX
Helpfully aggregating all your Republican sex scandal news in one convenient location.
7. EVERYTHING.CUTE
Let’s migrate every puppy cam and laughing baby and cat meme to .cute. It’ll be an orgy of adorable, a gated community of cute.
