NYPD Officer Does Reddit Q&A, Further Confuses Us About Legal Implications of Jay-Z’s ’99 Problems’

Also: "We don't all eat donuts."

(Photo: Magnetic Productions)

If Law and Order doesn’t provide you with sufficient insight into those who protect and serve our fine city, perhaps this Reddit thread can help. A user named 10-13 decided to initiate an “Ask Me Anything” post last night about his experience as a NYPD officer.

Perhaps because the Occupy Wall Street fervor has ebbed, or because 10-13 is a well-respected member of the r/NYC subreddit, the questions weren’t as pointed or aggressive as we anticipated. Maybe anonymous user names don’t automatically engender bad behavior, after all.

10-13, which is top secret police code for “Officer in need of immediate assistance,” answered users’ questions with a distinct mix of wry humor and endearing admiration for his job. But our favorite reply had to be when he discussed the time he found a guy with a silver dildo in his mouth:

When we got up to the 3rd flood he was on the stairs with some kind of portable VHS/DVD player watching tranny porn and jerking off. Weirder still, he had a silver dildo in is mouth.

“Some people are just born with a silver dildo in their mouth,” quipped a user named bunglejerry.

We would like to quibble with one answer, however. We have spent a large part of our lives allowing our legal beliefs to be dictated by Jay-Z’s hit song “99 problems,” primarily because of the following line: “My glove compartment is locked so’s the trunk in the back and I know my rights so you gon’ need a lawyer for that.”

A lawyer recently did a line-by-line reading of the song and determined that–actually–officers can search your locked glove compartment without a warrant. World rocked. 10-13, however, maintains Jay-Z’s party line, saying that the NYPD can’t look in your glove box without a warrant.

So which is it? Those of us who take our legal advice from Mr. Carter are dying to know.

NYPD Officer Does Reddit Q&A, Further Confuses Us About Legal Implications of Jay-Z’s ’99 Problems’