Rockaways Residents Want More Than a Line In the Sand Between Them And Nudists

Exposing their feelings: Rockaway residents not into nudity

Reeling from nude sunbathers who assault both their eyes and their standards of decency, Rockaway residents are begging for a large fence to shield them from an adjacent nudist beach.

Hurricane Irene destroyed the fence that once served as a barrier between the bare-naked beach bums at Riis Park and the more conservative bathers at Neponsit, who are none too fond of the breast-barers frolicking nearby.

“The city needs to put the fence back up, plain and simple,” City Councilman Eric Ulrich (R-Queens) told the New York Daily News. “This is about protecting families and children. This is about protecting the community. This is about protecting decency.”

But despite Mr. Ulrich’s heroic stand to safeguard modesty, city officials are hesitant to restore a fence, citing a law that requires “undivided public access to beaches below the high tide line,” the Daily News reports.

Those in favor of a fenceless beach (and bare bums) argue that a barrier would impede on the beauty of the beach. They also challenge rumors that bathers at Riis Park are having sex on the beach, claiming that those on the Neponsit side are the ones guilty of “lewd” acts, like sneaking a peek at the nude sunbathers.

While we imagine the disagreement may lead to some awkward confrontations between the opposing parties in the coming months, at least there’s little chance of the conflict turning physical. Rockaways Residents Want More Than a Line In the Sand Between Them And Nudists