Jeff Koons Press Release Has Best Sentence in Any Press Release Ever

Koons. (Getty Images)

Jeff Koons is having his first exhibition in Brussels in 20 years; it opens Oct. 6 at Almine Rech gallery. And that is news! But far more impressive than that news is the following sentence in the exhibition’s press release which may, as indicated in our headline, be the best sentence in any press release ever released in the history of press releases released to the press.

“Neither Koons nor his art can ever stay static: his oeuvre is like a quivering organism, ceaselessly buzzing with life, producing ever new and more surprising, vivid forms.”

Remarkable! According to this sentence, Jeff Koons’s art is, pretty much, that cavernous, gothic outer space WMD chamber in Prometheus, packed with obsidian vials leaking dark ooze that turns into—well, any number of quivering, buzzing, surprising organisms, such as slickly-fanged worms that invade people’s bodies via the mouth and, in turn, giant mouth-like creatures with countless tentacles and what you might call a violent lust for regeneration (talk about vivid; this is why going to outer space in the first place is a bad idea).

Elsewhere in the press release mention is made of “high points,” “intimate juxtapositions,” the “pulse of humanity,” “the libido and the core of our humanity” and “a permanent state of tumescence”; a sailboat is called “an erotic visual double entendre” and a statue has “a perfectly callipygian rear,” as in ass. (This last bit refers to Mr. Koons’s new “Antiquity” series, in support of which Homer is duly quoted.) We hope that those assembling the catalogue for the Whitney’s 2014 Koons retrospective are paying careful attention to this nuanced language.

In the context of a reference to a series of major Koons shows that opened this past summer, the Rech exhibition is said to be “expand[ing] again, on this extraordinarily rich and fecund season” and we are told that one of those shows, in Frankfurt, “anchor[ed] his … practice at the heart of a climactic tradition of sculpture” [emphases ours, emphases very much ours]. We are also told that the exhibition will enable us to “penetrate deeper within Koons’s ever more fascinating, and effervescent universe.” But alas, reader, we are not going to go there.

For more on Jeff Koons’s upcoming exhibition, see For more on art exhibition press releases, see Alix Rule and David Levine’s article in Triple Canopy.

Jeff Koons Press Release Has Best Sentence in Any Press Release Ever