Gwyneth Brings GOOP to Brooklyn and Now We All Have to Leave

Gwyneth Paltrow has bought her GOOP newsletter to Brooklyn, meaning that all the hip 20-somethings must now pack up their

Only Gwyneth Paltrow would call the Williamsburg area “unpretentious.”

Gwyneth Paltrow has bought her GOOP newsletter to Brooklyn, meaning that all the hip 20-somethings must now pack up their fair-trade bindles and move to Queens.

She has strong ties to the borough: her dad was born in Brooklyn Jewish Hospital. Ms. Paltrow likes using her father to give her credibility. What gives her the authority to write a cookbook? Because her dad liked food. Why is she now a Brooklyn expert? Her dad was born there. Yikes.

Here’s a partial list of places you can never be caught dead in again:


The hipsters will be so sad:

Bushwick is officially gentrified:

Have we all been there, Gwen?

Somehow we really doubt Paltrow’s made it to Red Hook. Especially a place called “The Intercourse.”

Actually these make sense. Park Slope might actually be the perfect place for Gwyn.

Wait … Black Mountain was our little secret neighborhood bar!!

Damn you, Gwyneth!

Gwyneth Brings GOOP to Brooklyn and Now We All Have to Leave