Top 5 Redonkulous Quotes from Bravo’s New Silicon Valley Reality Show

Also, tears. So many tears.

Poppin’ bottles = just another day in the life. (Photo: screencap)

It’s here! Bravo has launched a spiffy new landing page for the sure-to-be-captivating Startups: Silicon Valley. Included is a full, two-plus-minute trailer featuring bikinis, alcohol, iPhones, crying jags, overly dramatic self-aggrandizement, more alcohol, and more crying.

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What we don’t see is much in the way of self-awareness.

In other words, it’s definitely a reality show.

The full video is certainly worth watching for anyone amused by entrepreneurial antics, but we’ve also pulled out a few of our favorite moments. The top five:

  • “I live, breath, eat, shit, daydream my company.” As long as it’s in that order.
  • “How do you solve negative cycles?” Context: The man being asked this question is wearing a toga, standing over a table full of liquor bottles. He replies, with drunken hand gestures, “Are we talking Bellman’s algorithm or Dyson’s algorithm?”
  • “There is a spirit of fuck-you disruption.” You kiss your mama with that mouth?
  • “I would say I’m living paycheck to paycheck, but I don’t have a paycheck! So I’m just living.” Youth is wasted on the young.
  • And the winner, for achieving both laughable grandiosity and ominousness:  “The future of the world is in our hands.” God help us.

November cannot possibly come soon enough. The trailer, for your amusement:

Top 5 Redonkulous Quotes from Bravo’s New Silicon Valley Reality Show