Tech Homecoming Forces New York’s Tech Community to Relive High School Traumas

Quick, let's hash this out at the lockers!

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t deal. (

Old wounds were pried open this morning with the announcement of Tech Homecoming, an event sponsored by the likes of Bing and Sailthru that promises to immediately launch members of New York’s tech community into a painful round of high school reminiscences.

The event includes everything that made you long for sweet, sweet escape to college the first time around: a most popular contest, something called “football” and an awkward dance where hopefully Mayor Bloomberg will be on hand as chaperone, to chastise you for “bump and grinding.”

We look forward to dodging the mandatory pep rally in favor of dicking around in the debate office, right next to the computer lab full of engineers who were conspicuously absent from the list of honorees, probably because they were too busy–pardon the expression–fucking shipping.

Because, in all seriousness, for an industry compromised of people who try their damndest to avoid conventional wisdom, putting everyone in little boxes (literally!) feels painfully retrograde. There’s a reason we said tech needs to get uncool again.

Nor are we the only ones feeling a tad discomfited by this idea. The reception has been, shall we say, mixed.

For example, we’re actually a little glad this “FictiveKin brosef” isn’t telekinetic:

Meanwhile, it sounds like The Awl (who obliged Mr. Finkler’s request, via GIF) will sending a contingent, of a sorts:

Great, the rest of us—the sluts, burn-outs, goths and, right, the BROWN PEOPLE AND HOMOS AND OUR GOOD FRIENDS THE FATTIES—will all meet outside and smoke joints and throw water balloons at you. See you there, Heathers.

One Chicagoan had a very visceral copyeditor’s reaction:

One honoree is not happy to see her name on the website and sounds about ready to call down a pox on the houses of everyone involved:

Someone should probably go check on poor Matt Langer:

However, condemnation is not universal. For example, the sponsors and participants sound pretty tickled:

Tech Homecoming Forces New York’s Tech Community to Relive High School Traumas