Groundbreaking Educational Video Game Teaches Little Girls How to Be Upper East Side Socialites

Soul-sucking void not included.

(Screencap: Dress Up Games)

It’s so hard to instill the right values in your children these days. If you don’t teach them to be power-hungry, wealth-obsessed superficials, who will? With that in mind, a new video game from IDEA Studios may be the perfect holiday gift for your little one. It’s called Upper East Side Makeover, and it will turn your 10-year-old daughter into a Gossip Girl yet.

Where other video games might teach your child basic math or hand-eye coordination, Upper East Side Makeover offers the chance for your child to learn the crucial skills of proper exfoliation, backstabbing and vicious social climbing.

Upper East Side Makeover’s main character resembles that other famous UES socialite, Blair Waldorf. Players win the game by completing tasks like dressing up, enduring beauty treatments and applying makeup in order to climb the social ladder. It’s just like an episode of The Real Housewives of New York, but with less screaming.

The game is targeted at girls between the ages of 8-15, so that their pretty, malleable brains can more easily absorb valuable hairstyling techniques. But since it’s created by Romanian developer Daniel Tamas, who himself has never been to New York, it may not actually represent the values espoused by true Upper East Siders.

“I don’t know what this is, but it seems like this is just from a different era,” one Upper East Sider named Sandy told DNA Info. “Come on, this is just ridiculous.”

Sounds like somebody’s charity gala invitation just got lost in the mail.

Groundbreaking Educational Video Game Teaches Little Girls How to Be Upper East Side Socialites