Chat with Weinstein, Swim With Lochte, or Skype With Egan: The 10 Best Celebrity Holiday Auctions

Current Bid: $9,500

Number of Bids: 9

Estimated Value: $20,000

The terms: Winner must provide at least 2 weeks advance notice for scheduling. Lesson is for 1 hour.

Translation: Have fun for exactly one hour in Gainesville, Florida!

Current Bid: $3,500

Number of Bids: 10

Estimated Value: $7,935.98

The terms: Gratuity and alcoholic drinks not included. Includes dinner for 2 people with Jayni and Chevy Chase and a 1 night stay in a Queen Petite room (valid Sunday - Thursday only). Room is valid for up to 2 guests only. Meal costs exceeding $400.00 are the responsibility of the winner.

Translation: You will not be enjoying dinner with Chevy Chase at New York’s Bedford Post Inn.

Current Bid: $1,000

Number of Bids: 5

Estimated Value: $3,000

The terms: Approximate duration 2 Hours. The meal is included in the winning bid. The winner may take a photo and something small to be signed.

Translation: James Cromwell is much cooler than Chevy Chase.

Current Bid: $12,500

Number of Bids: 10

Estimated Value: $25,000

The terms: Meeting specific staff members is based on their availability on the days of the show. Interaction on the air is not guaranteed. Visit will be for a portion of the show, and not the entire show.

Translation: Don’t expect to meet Howard Stern.

Current Bid: $2,050

Number of Bids: 9

Estimated Value: $5,000

The terms: All participants must be over the age of 21. Approximate duration 60 Minutes. Travel and accommodations are not included.

Translation: "A" glass of wine, our ass. You will be there for an hour; expect to be wheeled out on an ambulance stretcher.

Current Bid: $2,250

Number of Bids: 5

Estimated Value: $2,500

The terms: Winning bidder and guest(s) subject to security screening.

Translation: Yeah, don’t even try it, buddy. Norman reads the news, too, you know.

Current Bid: $3,250

Number of Bids: 4

Estimated Value: $10,000

The terms: Valid for 2 people. David will only review 1 screenplay.

Translation: Though if both of you are midgets, he’ll count it as one person.

Current Bid: $0

Number of Bids: 0

Estimated Value: $1,000

The terms: Scheduling of voicemail recording is subject to Richard Kind’s availability and schedule.

Translation: You free now? Because he is. Or maybe tomorrow? Whenever is best for you, actually.

Current Bid: $500

Number of Bids: 1

Estimated Value: $5,000

The terms: Jennifer will not join the group in person, she will either call in or will arrange to be part of the group via Skype or other service. Winner is responsible for postage in sending/receiving books to Jennifer to be signed.

Translation: We still can’t believe someone bid $500 on this. Merry Christmas to all!

Observer

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If you still haven’t picked out the perfect stocking stuffer for the guy (or gal!) who has everything, mosey over to CharityBuzz.com, an auction site that is currently offering a holiday-themed assortment of goodies. Its celebrity auctions are particularly spectacular. Who wouldn’t want David Lynch reading their screenplay, or Jennifer Egan to Skype into their book club? (Don’t even get us started on the two-hour date with Academy Award nominee James Cromwell.)

We’ve found the 10 “best” listings this year, as well as their estimated price, terms and conditions, and number of bidders. (And if someone wants to get us that meeting with Harvey, we’ll take it!)

Chat with Weinstein, Swim With Lochte, or Skype With Egan: The 10 Best Celebrity Holiday Auctions

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