Men of Reddit List All the Ways Women Fail to Sexually Please Them

You'll never be good enough for the guy anonymously talking shit about your appearance from behind his computer.

(Photo: Quickmeme)

(Photo: Quickmeme)

It’s impossible to say how frequently the question appears on AskReddit, but we’d venture to guess some version of “Men of Reddit, how do ladies sexually disappoint you?” crops up at least once every couple of months.

Last night a thread called “Men of reddit, what is something that women think turns men on, but in reality does nothing for you?” hit the front page. This time the topic was started by a female Reddit user, who seemed genuinely curious to know how she can better turn guys on.

Unfortunately, because many parts of Reddit can be a rather hostile place for women–not unlike the Internet at large–the thread quickly devolved from a casual discussion about sex into a laundry list of things women do that annoy male Redditors. The result reads like a lunch conversation between a couple of virgin 10th graders, parroting stereotypes they lifted from TV and video games.

As it turns out, their list of turn-offs is almost enough to fill an entire issue of Cosmo.

Don’t be too smart or too dumb; don’t you dare act interested in anything a Redditor might like unless you’re a super hardcore fan; don’t dress or act like a slut, but also don’t act “innocent;” don’t wear makeup or fake tan or have large breasts; don’t play hard to get but don’t be “easy;” don’t twirl your hair or have fake eyelashes or have big boobs. Don’t give handjobs but also don’t give toothy blowjobs.

There has never been anything more Reddit than this Reddit thread. Congrats to all. Men of Reddit List All the Ways Women Fail to Sexually Please Them