Hosting a dinner party but afraid your friends are too boring and vapid to keep their eyes off their iPhones the whole time? Simply buy this tablecloth that includes zip pockets for holding people’s mobile devices, which they could just as easily keep in their pockets or purses the whole time!
The Zip It tablecloth ensures that guests’ mobile phones are kept far enough away from them that they won’t be texting throughout dinner, but not far enough to send them into full-fledged panic attacks.
Another great way to reclaim your meal times would be to simply not text during meal times but apparently as a society, we’re no longer capable of such extraordinary feats of self-control. Instead, we need to create innovative household items that allow us to store our iPhones in pouches close to our bodies like some kind of twisted marsupial.
If you do use a Zip It, make sure it is anchored tightly in place so that your heavy phone doesn’t cause it to slide off the table. Also make sure your phone isn’t on vibrate, as a periodically buzzing tablecloth could molest diners even more than your texting would.
You know what, why don’t you just put your phone in the other room. It’ll be easier that way.