Not that you can own a poet. But with the help of Tweetspeak’s handy paper cut-outs, those who are employed have the option to bring one of nine dead scribes–or all nine, we guess–to work on a Popsicle stick tomorrow, which is unofficially designated Take Your Poet to Work Day.
Choose among such esteemed graphomaniacs as Sara Teasdale, Pablo Neruda, T.S. Eliot, Emily Dickinson, Rumi, Edgar Allan Poe and three haiku masters: Matsuo Basho, Yosa Buson and Kobayashi Issa.
Dickinson seemed like the perfect candidate at first–quiet, reserved, undistracting–but we hear she didn’t get out much. And Eliot might have impressed our colleagues–so erudite!–but with all that talk of “hollow men,” we doubt he’d be into the inanity of a 40-minute morning commute. (Also, there’s that anti-Semitic thing.)
So, after some deliberation (we immediately ruled out Poe–what a drip!), we’ve concluded that those wise, contemplative and ascetic haiku writers are the best option. A favorite poet of ours happens to be Issa–so pithy! so funny! so weird!–and we really feel that he’d liven up the day with his short, digestible remarks on the sweet and sour vicissitudes of daily life.
Until we read this unbecoming line from the Japanese scribbler, who lived from 1763 to 1827:
Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!
Not on our watch, Issa!
