Well, here we go again: It seems the Internet has found the latest viral sensation, another Rebecca Black destined to make all of America wish YouTube had never been invented.
Meet Tay Allyn and “Mass Text,” an abomination that’s basically just, “Why didn’t I get your mass text? I’m in your contacts!” over and over and over again. But before anyone gets too bent out of shape about the state of pop music in 2k13, we’ll bet dollars to donuts this is one big gimmicky joke:
Let’s start with the fact that this isn’t the first the Internet’s seen of the song. As a commenter on The Guardian pointed out, the same song appeared on Funny or Die two years ago, using the same bio for Ms. Allen but a lower-budget, magic-themed video with the Ke$ha impression more pronounced. It’s pretty clearly a joke. A bit of digging through the Tay Allyn YouTube channel reveals it’s the same person–in a “making of” video, you can see her doing a live performance in the corset getup and brown hair.
Then there’s this suspiciously trolly bio:
Tay has created a new breed of Pop that’s like Ke$ha without the sex, and Gaga without the avant garde- what are you left with? Pop songs about the mundane issues you face in everyday life. It’s sassy, fun, and RELATABLE. Chosen by Justin Timberlake and MySpace as a top upcoming artist of 2013.
Then there’s her Twitter, which seems just a tad too on-the-nose (ditto her Facebook):
ARE YOU READY TO HEAR THE NEW PROFESSIONALLY RECORDED "MASS TEXT"… COUNTDOWN 2 HOURS! eeeeeeeeeeee! Tay Allyn- Pop Girl — feeling awesome
— Tay Allyn (@TheTayAllyn) June 24, 2013
JUST GOT THE FINAL #MassTextMusicVideo CUT AND I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT!! Get ready everyone it's coming so soon!! #POP #HeyIt'sTay
— Tay Allyn (@TheTayAllyn) May 16, 2013
If that’s not evidence enough for you that this is all some big gag, check out this video uploaded to the Taylor Allyn YouTube channel, which is a bunch of USC students doing a “Cat Me Maybe” cover of Carly Rae Jepson’s “Call Me Maybe.” In fact it looks like Ms. Allyn attended the USC School of Theater, and this seems to be her (before changing the spelling of her name) in a parody of the “Burlesque” trailer.
For more evidence of Ms. Allyn’s fondness for constructing wacky characters, Uproxx found this head-scratcher of her commencement speech, in which she whips out a wand and announces in Pollyanna-ish voice, “I chose to bring our class together with a magic spell.” Or at least, we assume she’s constructing a wacky character?
Anyway, it’s pretty hard to believe this woman is not pulling our leg, and yet this deliberately terrible video is still going to go super viral, because that’s the way we Internet now. Can’t wait for the tut-tutting Atlantic trend piece about what this means for the future of creativity.
