Lady Gaga App Will Now Be More ‘Interactive Jewel Case’ Than ‘Reverse Warholian Experience’

The Edge of Glory? Not remotely close.

lolz lolz it's actually just a stupid jewel case you guys
lolz lolz it’s actually just a stupid jewel case you guys

For Little Monsters, this might come as bad news; for everyone else who’s still trying to decipher the meaningless ARTPOP garble that Lady Gaga churned out three weeks ago, this’ll probably come as a relief. Gaga has admitted the ARTPOP app is just gonna be some lame-sounding “interactive jewel case.”

It’s a far cry from her lofty, pseudo-intellectual Facebook spewings of July 12, wherein the pop-star/martian (or one of her handlers) claimed, “The app itself is a musical and visual engineering system that combines music, art, fashion, and technology with a new interactive worldwide community—’the auras’. Altering the human experience with social media, we bring ARTculture into POP in a reverse Warholian expedition.”

Now, in the saddest anti-climax since Kimye gave their baby a normal-ish name, Gaga has emerged—most likely clad in meat—from her top-secret reverse Warholian technological workshop to declare that the ARTPOP will probably be nothing more than a glorified, touch-screen Polly Pocket.

Here’s what she tweeted Wednesday morning:

Cool.

So how did the app—which was meant to “[Explore] Gaga’s existence as a cultural interface”—turn into the most unexciting thing ever? We’re guessing that even Gaga herself couldn’t maintain a grip on the increasingly incomprehensible bullshit she’s been putting forth in anticipation for ARTPOP’s November 11 release.

We suggest she surround herself with fewer yes-people, and more “no, you probably shouldn’t walk around with no pants on or announce you want to die onstage” people. Lady Gaga App Will Now Be More ‘Interactive Jewel Case’ Than ‘Reverse Warholian Experience’