Looking for a God-Fearing Man to Bang Your Wife? Try ChristianSwingers.com

Is there anything the Internet can't help you with?

The neon seemed appropriate. (ROBERT ATANASOVSKI/AFP/GettyImages)
The neon seemed appropriate. (ROBERT ATANASOVSKI/AFP/GettyImages)

Sometimes, you want to get a little freaky. But there’s always the risk someone from your Sunday School class will see you at the swingers club out by the abandoned strip mall, you know? And that’s why someone has created ChristianSwingers.com, an online dating site that’s exactly what it sounds like.

God bless!

The site explains the predicament many would-be Christian swingers might face:

“For Christian Swingers things are not easy – often other religious people judge you, out of ignorance or envy, telling you that your lifestyle and love practices are wrong. But the Bible teaches us ‘Judge not lest ye be judged’ and there’s that verse about the first stone.”

Hence the service, which is designed to meet the needs of “devout Christian couples who still want to have an active love life and share it with another, in good faith!” Because it’s not like you want some heathen having sex with your wife, right? Only a man of faith will do.

But while the site might allow you to fly under the radar, don’t expect your pastor to approve. The Christian Post talked to a “licensed Christian counselor and mental health professional,” who practically had a conniption fit over the very concept:

“Having been to seminary as well as being trained as a licensed mental health counselor, and as a Christian, it is unbiblical, it is sinful.”

Christ, what a party pooper.

(h/t Houston Press) Looking for a God-Fearing Man to Bang Your Wife? Try ChristianSwingers.com