Wahlburgers Is a Real Show, And It’s Glorious

Mark Wahlberg loves Wahlburgers. (A&E)
Mark Wahlberg loves Wahlburgers. (A&E)

Last night, before checking out Duck Dynasty for the first time–which is actually about rich people, who knew??– we had A&E on in the background and happened to hear the most amazing line of dialogue, ever. No, it wasn’t from #Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, but I know how we’d all love another trend-think piece on that topic.  It was simply, this:

“To me, this restaurant is a lot more than just capitalizing on the coincidence of our name working with the word hamburger.”

When we first heard that Wahlburgers was a real show, our first thought was probably like a lot of yours: “Mark Wahlberg is opening up a restaurant?” Then our second thought, also like a lot of yours, was “Wait, DONNIE Wahlberg is opening up a restaurant??”

Turns out we were wrong both times, guys. It’s Paul Wahlberg who is opening up a restaurant, or already has a restaurant, or something. They serve hamburgers (obviously), though a promo for the new episode has Jenny McCarthy eating a hot dog/sausage INSIDE a hamburger: truly, a Wahlburger/Wahlberger creation. Double-obviously, this show takes place in Boston, and triple-obviously, Mark Wahlberg is an executive producer.

What’s actually surprising about Wahlburgers is how often brother Marky Mark stops by to sample his brother’s wares.

So far, there’s not much more to say about the show, except that it’s amazing. Mark Wahlberg dealing with family drama (remember that one time he gouged out somebody’s EYEBALL?? He did that!) which includes a Mama Rose-level crazy mother. We will keep watching and updating you to developments about Wahlburgers, such as the fact that there is a chance there will be a gift certificate to the establishment during the Kids’ Choice Awards this year? We will be ever vigilant, don’t you worry!

<em>Wahlburgers</em> Is a Real Show, And It’s Glorious