The Internet has been keeping itself busy today with Twitter’s First Tweet feature, which lets you search for the very first message a user ever sent out to the Twittersphere. The results are generally cringeworthy — they show you how earnest and basic you were before you discovered that the Internet was a cold, dark and deeply ironic place.
Because we love you a lot, we’ve catalogued a list of some of our favorite first tweets by celebrities. We warn you: they’re pretty embarrassing. Oprah’s is in aggressive all-caps. Lindsay Lohan’s is an “I love you” to Samantha Ronson. Kris Jenner’s uses the phrase “Twittering.” We rest our case.