Everything We Actually Know About ‘True Detective’ Season Two

Spoilers from our sources

Look at all these spoilers.

Look at all these spoilers.

Nothing. We know absolutely nothing.

People are saying (mostly communicating through the words “spoiler” and “sources”) that Colin Farrell and Taylor Kitsch are locked in, and that Vince Vaughn and Elisabeth Moss are all but confirmed. Just like Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender were offered roles. Just like Jessica Chastain was going to be a lead role. Long story short, the only thing that the True Detective rumor mill churns out is bullshit until I hear it straight from showrunner Nic Pizzolatto’s mouth. And so far, basically the only thing he’s said is the series will be set in California. But (spoilers!!!!) not L.A.

But I did promise you some information in that headline, I suppose. So here is everything we actually do know about the second season of True Detective.

  • The cast will mostly consist primarily of human beings. A source close to production isn’t ruling out the appearance of an animal or two.
  • The title of the show will apparently be True Detective. According to sources, that’s with both capital T and D.
  • A source of a source told us that last season’s True Detective starred Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson as detectives Rust Cohle and Marty Hart, respectively.
  • HBO stands for Home Box Office. “That’s neat,” our source said.
  • BTW did you know HBO owns Cinemax and that’s why The Knick commercials air right before True Blood? Because now I do, thanks to sources.
  • The overall story arc of the season is still vague, but was described to us (by sources) as “things happening.”

How did I get this bombshell information out of my sources, when no other outlet could? Well, I’d offer advice, but Rust Cohle can handle it for me.

rust cohle


Everything We <em>Actually</em> Know About ‘True Detective’ Season Two