To Do This Week: Learn to Make a Proper Manhattan, Book a Ticket to France

Photo by Candice Kaye

Photo by Candice Kaye

Wednesday, August 20

Oh, thank God, it’s almost fall again. People are coming back to the city and they’re going to ditch their summery Hampton-ish Pimms Cups for a proper Manhattan. Or whatever they teach you to make at the Experimental Cocktail Club Master Class. The first promises to show participants how to mix seasonal vegetables with spirits. So expect a pumpkin peel in place of a lemon twist? A gourd instead of a pineapple serving as a cup? We’ll drink to that (our standards for things to drink to are shockingly low). Experimental Cocktail Club, 191 Chrystie St., 7-8:30 p.m., $65

Thursday, August 21

The US Open is starting? Oh, you didn’t know. Well, you should call your grandmother more often. AYS World is celebrating with The Taste of Tennis Gala featuring bites prepared by 25 of New York’s best chefs. Expect nibbles from Bill Telepan (of Telepan) Marc Murphy (Landmarc) and Harold Moore (Commerce). How does this connect with tennis, you might ask? Serena and Venus Williams will be in attendance. There. It ties to tennis. W New York, 541 Lexington Ave, 7-10 p.m., $275

Friday, August 22

Do you spend a lot of time wondering what Ferris Bueller ultimately went on to do with his life? Advertising, probably, right? Or some vaguely political job Christopher Buckley would satirize? Something that involves being a deft liar? For our part, we’d like to know what happened to Duckie, who we’ve spent a lot of time thinking about, as, apparently, have writers like Lux Alptraum, Emily Flake and Todd Hanson, who will be at tonight’s Forty-Six Candles: An Evening of Fiction in Which John Hughes Characters Grow The F*ck Up. Note to Ally Sheedy: the invitation says you get in free. Union Hall, 702 Union Street, 7:30 p.m., $8

Saturday, August 23

Oh, I lied: everyone isn’t back in the city yet; you still have to go out to the Hamptons. But if you go to Pet Philanthropy Circle’s 3rd Annual Pet Hero Awards you’ll be going to Jewel and Robert Morris’ house! (Remember how a really important part of Jewel’s backstory was that she lived in a van? She has a house now. I bet it’s a pretty house.) Amanda Hearst, Jean Shafiroff, Georgina Bloomberg, Prince Lorenzo Borghese and Andy Sabin will also be in attendance. Hobby Hill Estate, Water Mill, 5-7:30 p.m., $125

Sunday, August 24

This is a special day for everyone who in their childhood asked for a pony and had parents who said “Yes!” That’s right, it’s the Opening Day of the 39th Annual Hampton Classic Horse Show. In addition to the hunter, jumper and equitation competition, you’ll find boutiques, a food court, a petting zoo and even pony rides for the poor, sad children who do not have ponies of their very own. Those kids may or may not grow up to be criminals, but they will certainly never learn how to love. 240 Snake Hollow Road, Bridgehampton, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., $10

Monday, August 25

If there’s one thing you are going to regret as fall comes, it’s that you didn’t eat enough ice cream. Make up for it in one fell swoop by trying the $100 “Kitchen Sink” sundae with a visit to Bubby’s New Meatpacking Outpost. It’s 16 scoops of ice cream covered with pretzels, pecans, peanuts, chocolate-chip cookie crumbs, chocolate and caramel syrups, rainbow sprinkles and whipped cream. Bring a friend. Or 16 friends. Bubby’s High Line, 71 Gansevoort St., any time. Dinner?

Tuesday, August 26

Did you like Gone Girl? What about Harry Potter or 50 Shades of Grey? Terrific. You are a person who is aware that books exist and reads some of them. That makes you the target market for Kate Milford’s newest novel, Greenglass House, a mystery reminiscent of “all the best parts of Clue.” At tonight’s launch Ms. Milford will be autographing books, and since all the parts of Clue are the best parts, we’re already sold. McNally Jackson Books, 52 Prince St, 7 p.m., Free

Wednesday, August 27

We’ll give it to you straight: Not A Damn Thing is happening in the city tonight. We were overly optimistic as we started this week, imagining that everyone was back. That was just super-wrong. Everyone is actually in France. So queue up “The Only Living Boy in New York,” grab a copy of Wittgenstein’s Mistress and … oh, to hell with it. Go to the airport and book a plane ticket to the south of France. It’s the end of August. John F. Kennedy International Airport, Jamaica, Queens, Terminal C, British Airways, $1,231 Round Trip

To Do This Week: Learn to Make a Proper Manhattan, Book a Ticket to France