To Do This Week: Eat Burgers in Formal Wear and Watch Horses in Style

(Creative Commons)
There is something decadent and naughty about eating burgers in formal wear. (Creative Commons)

WEDNESDAY September 17

If you don’t know Anna Kiper, you’re probably not famous enough. The Fashion Institute of Technology professor has dressed celebrities like Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry and Michelle Obama. Now she’s debuting her guide on how to put together an attention-grabbing fashion portfolio. And she’s also giving tips, presumably on how to look like Ms. Kidman when you go out. Dress as well as you can for her book party; she’ll almost certainly be silently judging you. Kinokuniya Bookstore, 1073 Avenue of the Americas, 6 p.m., free

THURSDAY September 18

There is nothing really exciting about eating little crab cakes and risotto balls in a gown or tuxedo. But there is something decadent and naughty about eating burgers in formal wear. It’s very post-prom. The City Harvest benefit, Bow Ties and Burgers, offers treats from Brindle Room, Doughnuttery, Emily, McClure’s Pickles, NY Cake Pops and Serendipity 3 for an evening of fast food and fabulous fashions. Bring a bib. Center 548, 548 West 22nd Street, 7-10 p.m., $250

FRIDAY September 19

Your outfit will only look good if you do. And you will only look good if you go get a facial right now. No, we’re sure you look fine. But you’ll look even better once you’ve been slathered in Diamond Infused Cleansing Complex cream at the grand opening of Infinite Beauty, a multi-level spa. Because diamonds are more than mere accessories—they are your epidermis’ best friend. Infinite Beauty, 1031 3rd Avenue, 3-8p.m., invitation only

SATURDAY September 20

Ever watched that scene in My Fair Lady where everyone is dressed up in beautiful black and white dresses at the races? Right, that’s Ascot. The Central Park Horse Show is not quite that! But you should dress beautifully for it, anyway! Because looking like Audrey Hepburn goes really well with horse shows, and, honestly, everything. The Wollman Rink in Central Park, 6:30p.m., $272

SUNDAY September 21

You say you miss the camaraderie you experienced since you hung up the tuba—that and the glam life of sex, parties and booze that came with being a senior in the high school marching band. Now that you’ve settled down, you should relish the chance to relive the glory days. The Partnership for Jewish Learning and Life is organizing an attempt to set a Guinness World Record for simultaneous shofar blowing. Event organizers say, “everybody counts; if you can blow, you can blow shofar!” So go release your inner Ten Commandments Charles Heston. But a heads up, the event is BYOS (bring your own shofar). Alex Aidekman Family Jewish Community Campus, 901 Route 10 in Whippany, N.J. 07981, 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

MONDAY September 22

I have never seen Scandal, but I gather it’s a TV show about being a well-dressed sociopath. I generally associate The Limited with “clothes you wear as an 18-year-old intern at a law firm,” so … that could work, that seems like a good pairing. Kerry Washington hosts the Limited Scandal Collection launch, and I am hoping it will feature unusually intimidating skirt-suits and shoes that have knives popping out of them. IAC Building, 555 West 18th street, 6:30-8:30p.m., invitation only

TUESDAY September 23

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss are hosting the launch party for Jack Carlson’s new book, Rowing Blazers. “Regatta attire is encouraged,” according to the invite. I approve of this, and I sincerely hope there will be Pimm’s cups. Fetch your rowing blazer, and we’ll make jokes about the middle class. Proceeds go to benefit Row New York, an organization that allows underserved youth to pursue excellence through rowing. Polo Ralph Lauren, 711 Fifth Avenue, 7-9p.m., invitation only

WEDNESDAY September 24

At the exhibit “Exposed: A History of Lingerie,” you can find corsets dating back to 1770, as well as a 2007 evening dress by Peter Soronen that also … features a corset bodice. Corsets just never really went away. Do you have one? Maybe go get one and wear it to this! Try it out; it might be fun having a 17-inch waist. Fashion Institute of Technology, Seventh Avenue at 27 Street, on view until November 15 To Do This Week: Eat Burgers in Formal Wear and Watch Horses in Style