3D Printer for Chocolate Is Pretty Unimpressive, Still Costs $4,500

It can basically write your name, or just do some cake designers.

(Photo via Choc Edge)

(Photo via Choc Edge)

We all have that relative who loves a good edible craft project. Perhaps it’s your granddad who loves handmade chocolate, or your girlfriend who loves baking cookies — so that means the season is coming for molds and melted morsels, right?

Pssh, not this year. Now, you can get all of that done with the Choc Edge, an enormously expensive 3D printer that makes precision-replicated chocolate designs without the hassle of artistry or craftsmanship. Welcome to 2014, luddite.

The Choc Edge uses computer-designed patterns and a syringe to layer “complex and artistic 2D patterns onto other foods or substrates similar to the way a pastry chef pipes chocolate onto cakes and deserts,” according to their site.

3D printers have been used to make everything from life-saving and useful prosthetics for the handicapped, to WiFi-enabled marijuana vapes, to some of the most unwearable, useless jewelry you’ve ever seen in your life. Considering that the Choc Edge can only make virtually flat latticework patters for cookies and cakes — all of the truly 3D creations seem either flat or malformed — we’re going to rank this one on the less-useful end of the 3D printing spectrum.

Can't help but think that these are meant to be used in sort sort of witch's hex. (Photo via Choc Edge)

We can’t help but think that these are meant to be used in sort sort of witch’s hex. (Photo via Choc Edge)

The baseline model for one of these printers costs over $4,500 dollars — for comparison sake, that’s more than twice as much as the latest model of Makerbot Replicator. At that price point, don’t expect to see a Choc Edge on a Christmas list or wedding registry any time soon — or if you do, yes, it’s perfectly okay to pass on it for a Magic Bullet or new iPhone 6 case.

3D Printer for Chocolate Is Pretty Unimpressive, Still Costs $4,500