Emotional Shonda-coaster Week 2: ‘Grey’s,’ ‘Scandal,’ ‘How To Get Away With Murder’

In case you missed last week’s episode. here’s everything you need to know about the most important programming block of the week. All right, let’s get into it.

Grey’s Anatomy

A lot happens in this episode, but one thing I would like to address right off the bat is that no matter how much the show tries to make Jo happen, she’s never going to happen. Meredith is using Alex as her surrogate Cristina while she sorts through this whole new-sister thing and Jo is super upset about it, complaining about how Meredith “stole [her] Alex.” Jo, no one cares! You’re new!

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The other unbelievable thing about this episode is that when a man comes in who “rear-ended a lumber truck” and somehow got impaled on a huge branch (at this point Grey’s Anatomy has been around long enough to start recycling even the most outlandish patient of the week injuries) all of the emergency room doctors stand around him taking selfies (???) and, failing that, video on their iPads. Nope, not buying it, especially not from Bailey who has been both a model of professionalism and sworn enemy of hospital hijinks from jump. This guy is mostly around so Webber can pull of some snazzy surgical moves and impress Maggie, which makes him yearn to tell her he’s her father even more! Unfortunately, by the time he gets around to it he has to deal with drunk Meredith, who’s mad he waited a week to bring her into the loop (like, give the guy a minute, he JUST found out he has a daughter) AND Maggie, who thinks that not immediately revealing that he’s her father means that he knew she existed all along and decided that he didn’t want her? For someone with many advanced degrees, Maggie’s deductive reasoning skills could use a little tuning up.

What else? Owen gets super aggro about giving veterans prosthetic legs and ropes a reluctant Callie into helping one patient, whose nerve damage is so extensive that he’s disqualified from Team Robot Leg. But wait! Jackson can do a fancy nerve repair surgery which means that even more people will be candidates for fancy robot legs! This has the unfortunate side effect of making Callie and Arizona fight about which one of them doesn’t want another baby. The casual observer would have to conclude that neither of them want another baby and they’re both being weird about telling each other that for no reason, but that’s Grey’s Anatomy for you. Being totally incapable of articulating what you actually want is a pre-req for getting hired at Grey Sloan Memorial.

Speaking of which, Meredith hates that Derek turned down the White House opportunity because she thinks it was manipulative on his part, and it turns out that it totally was! Derek, while fighting with his sister (who, incidentally, needs get her makeup game figured out) about who is a better neurosurgeon, reveals that he totally DOES resent his wife for indirectly forcing him into declining the job opportunity. Then, when she shows up (drunk, never change, Mere!) for the board meeting to hire either Bailey or Alex, he says something unforgivable to her about staying in Seattle? ABC was having issues getting their audio to match up with people’s mouth movements and it made everything difficult to understand. But rest assured, based on Mere’s reaction, whatever Derek said was EFFED.

Speaking of the board meeting, they hire Bailey! I like Alex but that was absolutely the right decision. Bailey has given them so much!

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Until next week!

Scandal

The show goes full Lifetime movie this week and it’s beautiful. First we have a woman who may or may not have pushed her husband off a cliff (very ripped from the headlines!) whose misfortune pulls Mellie out of her funk of grief long enough to use federal resources to mount an independent investigation in an attempt to exonerate her! You can tell that Mellie is feeling better because she occasionally takes a break from her busy schedule of chips eating to gnaw on an apple. Unfortunately, she is embarrassed in front of basically the entire cabinet (and her derpy husband) when it turns out that eyewitness accounts have alreadty exonerated the woman and all of her research was for naught. Oh Mellie, when will you get a win? I’m hoping that this might mean that eventually when she re-enters her husband’s administration it will not be as Executor of Perfect Photo Ops but maybe in a role where she gets to put those high-powered lawyer skills we’ve heard about to use.

The case of the week involves Olivia’s old friend from law school, Penny from Lost, whose stepdaughter has gone missing. Stepmom claims that stepdaughter “ran away” after they fought about colleges, but as it turns out it probably has more to do with Stepmom making sex tapes with stepdaughter’s boyfriend! Oh boy!  When stepdaughter is found dead stepmom ends up arrested for the murder, despite insisting to Olivia that even though she “screwed a kid” she didn’t have anything to do with it. Rather understandably, Olivia is like

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This also causes some Abby/Olivia tension, as Abby was friends with Penny too (did we know that Olivia and Abby went to law school together?) and wants to help her, and out of what I think is a desire to shield Abby from the knowledge that their friend is a supercreep, Olivia refuses to talk about the case with her. Abby is offended and they continue not to be friends. Fun!

Elsewhere: David Rosen tries to be a good guy by getting a gun control bill through an appeals court by blackmailing a judge…who then kills himself with a gun!!!! David Rosen seems sad about this, but also not that sad. Also, Cyrus is getting played so hard by that creepy prostitute and it’s making me lose respect for his character when all it takes for him to abandon his good judgment, honed from decades of deceiving people in pursuit of power, is for this dude to super self-consciously recline on his elbows on a bed. Between last week and this week I think I have seen this pose about four times and I am less impressed by it each time.

Finally, Charlie is back in town and all he wants is for Quinn to love him again! She makes out with him after he gets Jake to imprison them in a room together but then when she goes back to the office Huck apologizes for not checking to see where she went! Is there anything less compelling than a love triangle featuring Quinn? Also, Jake and Papa Pope are having a fight about who is going to get to stand over whom when one of them dies. You know how it is when your boyfriend meets your parents! Aaaand that’s it! Apparently next week we get “the reunion we’ve all been waiting for” between Fitz and Olivia, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because they have already been in a room together and no one aside from the criminally insane thinks that they should still be together, but I guess we’ll see.

How To Get Away With Murder

Ooooh boy. This show is fun! Let’s dispense with the case of the week because not only is it resolved within the hour, it’s also the least interesting part. This woman gets arrested for having sex in public, and she looks like a regular old mom but it turns out she’s a fugitive wanted for murder because of some domestic terrorism she took part in when she was a young, starry-eyed idealist. As it turns out, her “idealism” seems to be less responsible for her criminal impulses than “being in love with a domestic terrorist mastermind,” and the second they visit him in prison to get him to testify on her behalf she is smitten all over again. He ends up flipping and testifying for the prosecution in order to secure his freedom, and then he is apparently released IMMEDIATELY following his testimony, and then she goes missing too, and it turns out they are both getting on a bus to continue to be in love, hopefully having gotten all of that domestic terrorism out of their system? I mean, in what world would this be allowed to happen?

The Lila Stangard case continues to confound everyone, from Wes, who masquerades as a lawyer so he can try to help Rebecca (why?!) to Annalise, whose hot cop boyfriend figures out that Sam’s alibi for the murder totally does not hold up but tells her that it checks out anyway (why?!), to the university, which seems to think it’s a great idea to hire one of their own professors to be the defense lawyer for the football player boyfriend who was arrested with Rebecca for the murder (why?!). After Wes’s stunt leads to having Annalise bail him out at the police station, she not only gives him the magical Lady Justice trophy but also agrees to take on Rebecca as a client, which is the cliffhanger on which the episode ends.

ALSO: This week we get more insight into 1L Michaela, who, rest assured, is still boring, but we find out that she is very into being part of a POWER COUPLE with her cute fiancé and is very disturbed to learn that when her fiancé was in boarding school with fellow 1L Connor, they Did Some Stuff. After he insists to her that it was just A Phase and she threatens him with divorce/life ruination if he is ever unfaithful to her with a man in the future, they hug (why?!) and everything seems to be resolved.

Except! We get more of the flash forward to Sam’s murder this week, including seeing that the 1Ls and Rebecca were in the house where he was killed. Just so there’s a record of it, I’m going to guess that Paris Geller did it. Laurel goes to a dumb party and Frank follows her there, but his slow motion smile-and-approach-her-at-the-bar move is quite literally bogarted by some other dude. Haha! Stay creepy, Frank. Also Michaela loses her engagement ring while trying to transport the body in the woods, and though everyone stands around making concerned faces, you can tell that at least one of them is thinking “Aaaaaaand we have our scapegoat should this go wrong!” Which, you know, I’m not a mind reader, but it probably will. Until next time!

 

Emotional Shonda-coaster Week 2: ‘Grey’s,’ ‘Scandal,’ ‘How To Get Away With Murder’