This Terrible-Looking 'Air Umbrella' Just Blew Through Its Kickstarter Goal

It kinda looks like a vibrator, tbh.

Everything about this sounds bad. (Kickstarter)
Everything about this sounds bad. (Kickstarter)

The Internet was abuzz yesterday with news of the Kickstarter campaign to create a bizarre “air umbrella,” a gadget that promises to ward raindrops away from your face by powerfully blowing out air in all directions.

While the prospects of the futuristic umbrella reaching its $10,000 funding goal weren’t looking so hot yesterday, a glance at the campaign page this afternoon revealed the product has now plowed through its original goal; it’s currently raised $16,825, with nine days still remaining in the fundraising period.

We understand people’s excitement over the air umbrella. It has the potential to shield you from rain and snow — and apparently even pepper spray — without ever turning into a soggy, tangled, spiky, inside-out mess. Plus, everyone loves a good ~cutting edge~ gadget — er, maybe.

While the air umbrella is arguably a worthier Kickstarter campaign than, say, a massive dick drawing, we still can’t help but feel that the product, should it ever become a reality, has some really crappy drawbacks.

Firstly, there’s the issue of battery life. In the most powerful of the air umbrella’s three models, the battery life is only 30 minutes. In the smallest model, which the company oddly states is “available for female,” the battery life is a mere 15 minutes. That’d barely last us a one-way trip from my apartment to the subway! (Thanks a lot, Queens.)

Secondly, while the air umbrella might be nifty for its user, we can’t imagine anyone walking beside said user would be particularly thrilled with the product. Based on this video of the air umbrella in action, it looks like it’d blow raindrops into the faces of surrounding innocent pedestrians.

Howdy, passersby! Enjoy this face-full of rain! (Kickstarter)
Howdy, passersby! Enjoy this face-full of rain! (Kickstarter)

Lastly — and maybe we’re just nitpicking here — but this thing looks a lot like a sex toy. No, seriously. It’s basically a Hitachi Magic Wand.

Air umbrella. (Kickstarter)
Air umbrella. (Kickstarter)
Hitachi Magic Wand. (Amazon)
Hitachi Magic Wand. (Amazon)

The team behind the air umbrella says that from October 2014 to July 15, “we will improve our products from various aspects such as appearance, and auxiliary function (including power display function and mobile power supply function).”

The first products will be ready in September 2015, and Kickstarter supporters should receive their coveted gadgets before December. This Terrible-Looking 'Air Umbrella' Just Blew Through Its Kickstarter Goal