Yesterday’s installment of Your Daily TV Spirit Animal accurately pointed out that we were all at one time Charlie the Frog Intern, because who here isn’t guilty of getting their tie stuck in the copy machine? On the bright side, if you flip the copies real fast it DOES look like the tie is running.
Anywho, that was both literally and metaphorically yesterday. Today you aren’t a sticky-fingered intern, you’re an adult. Today is Friday. It’s the weekend after a long work week, and your spirit animal is Futurama‘s Slurms McKenzie.
Because what Slurms stands for is what you in all likelihood stand for right now, at about 2 pm — get me out of everything but this shirt and tie and let me dance uncontrollably, for hours, with nameless bikini-clad women. The real American dream.
Now you may not be the spokesperson for an intergalactic energy-drink made from the secretions of aliens on the planet Wormulon, but you still work that 9 to 5 grind, and you deserve a little unwinding. But as much as Slurms is an outlet for your Friday night steam-releasin’, he’s also a cautionary tale, a warning. A PSA, if you will (Partying Slug Announcement.) Always use moderation, dear reader. Because I know you want to go on that pants-less and possibly coked out binge but admit it, you’re not the sweet summer child you once were in your youth. Even Slurms knew this.
This isn’t Saturday, people. You haven’t had the opportunity to wake up mostly naked at 4 in the afternoon yet (unless that’s like part of your job, in which case high-five!). You’re still feeling the work week, and if you go too hard you may end up like Slurms — burnt out, and crushed underneath the pressures of “partying on” for just a little too long. Or, like in Slurm’s case, you’ll be crushed underneath the ceiling collapse after you party too hard. In which case, epic bro but seriously RIP.
So in conclusion, take the essence of today’s spirit animal, but not the execution. Know when to say “no” to that next bar, that next shot, that next syringe-injected animal tranquilizer. Moderation is important. Ride the waves of that party, friends, don’t let the waves ride you.