Today’s spirit animal WOULD have been Paul the Animated Seal from last night’s American Horror Story, until someone pointed out that he is human, and that would technically be “incredibly offensive Vinnie what is wrong with you?” Fair. So, on we go.
Has anyone ever told you that your hopes, your dreams, your passions just weren’t worth your time? That the thing you love doing the most in the world isn’t going to get you far in life, and that you should just give up while you still can? Well, today’s spirit animal says fuck those people. Because I’m sure a lot of people told Shakespeare that playwrighting wasn’t for him. I bet Michael Jordan’s high school basketball coach told him that maybe basketball wasn’t his future.
And you know what? I bet a lot of people told Toonces the Cat that Can Drive a Car that cats can’t drive cars, because they’re cats. Well, look at Toonces now.
On this horrid day known as not-yet-Friday, let’s remember that impossible isn’t a fact, it’s a dare. If you want to write poetry, you start composing those sonnets. If you want to build skyscrapers 400 stories tall, you go learn whatever the required skills are to do that (chemistry?). Just remember, if you’re a cat with people telling you can’t drive, metaphorically (or not, in which case get off the computer, cat) just get behind the wheel and drive.
Of course, actually, in reality, with today’s society and economy and all that you’re more likely to fall flat on your face and fail miserably. That job market, am I right? And these rent prices, what is going on with these rent prices? Poetry and blog posts aren’t going to make my landlord happy! Oh, god. What
am I are you going to do when my dreams turn into nightmares and I…I mean you, this is about you, you drive headlong off a cliff into a chasm of failure??
Ahem. I meant that all metaphorically of course. No one here has $.30 in their bank account. I guess it’s just like Steve Martin said, in the very first “Toonces, the Cat that Can Drive a Car” sketch on Saturday Night Live in 1989: “I guess he can drive…just not very well.” And in the end, isn’t that all we need to get by?