10 Thoughts Adults Have While Watching ‘Peter Pan Live!’

Has anyone told this kid to take it down a peg? Maybe tried some Ritalin? Because there's some serious Peter Pan Privilege being sprinkled about this nursery.

Are Hook and the pirates and Tiger Lily's tribe indigenous to Never Land? Wouldn't that make the Lost Boys British colonizers? Does that make anyone else feel vaguely uncomfortable about this whole situation?

If New York City's official protocol for recovering missing children was "pine at bay windows; sing," our Lost Boy population would be on the uptick as well.

I refuse to believe that Wendy grows up into such a terrible parent that she basically spends the rest of her life grooming her young daughter to be kidnapped by an old boyfriend. Or maybe this is the early 20th century equivalent of sending your kid to a sexually stunted summer camp?

Do you think Mrs. Darling and Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins ever get together to bitch about their terrible, emotionally distant husbands? I like to imagine these two ladies are bosom buddies and are quietly planning the revolution.

It makes absolutely no sense for Mr. Darling to be Smee. Mr. Darling is Captain Hook. It's always the same actor.

That's the POINT of Captain Hook. You lose the repressed psychosexual dynamics that underpin the entire story if there isn't a scene where Wendy's own father kidnaps her, ties her up and demands that she be his mommy.* *The one exception being Hook.

See, Jason Isaacs gets it.

Speaking of...where is Mr. Darling in all of this? He knows his children are missing, right? Is he out searching the streets, or just having a spot of tea downstairs? Maybe someone should sing out of the window for him, get an ETA on when he plans to be home.

If Peter places such symbolic importance on meaningless objects like thimbles, maybe he should intern at Mr. Darling's bank.

I hope Mrs. Darling got to keep her maiden name.

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There was a moment last night while watching NBC’s highly-marketed musical event, Peter Pan Live" class="company-link">Peter Pan Live!, where I just thought to myself, “I’m no longer the intended audience for this program.” No offense to Allison Williams or Christopher Walken, it just appears I’ve aged out of enjoying this show. Let’s face it: The songs are asinine, the cross-dressing never addressed, and there’s some strangely subversive messaging about the roles parents play during a child’s first brush with puberty. It all seems rather quaint in hindsight.

I’m not saying that Peter Pan isn’t a delightful musical for children. I’m just saying that as an adult, I had a few questions.

10 Thoughts Adults Have While Watching ‘Peter Pan Live!’

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